The Perfect Life - Follow Your Heart

forensics ospe

2011-05-03T23:50:00.000+05:00

really. don't feel like studying one bit. but i must. have forensics exam tomorrow. two more hours to go before i sleep. must finish course. kya kerun?

number of teeth erupting and age kese yaad rakhun?

and post mortem lividity.

jitna bhee parhlun. exam mai tow wohee ayega jou nahe parha.

gawd.

im freaking out bad.

gonna watch an episode of how i met your mother to get the nerves relaxed, then pounce on the books like a sleepy cougar.

Sana

Check it out, check it out

2010-07-14T01:41:00.000+05:00

My new blog : Sunlight!

Sana

Karma, baby

2010-06-15T15:14:00.010+05:00

She is sucha.... I so hate her. One day you'll get what you deserve. It'll hit you where it hurts, just wait. And it will hurt real bad. Shoo now.

Sana

A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever - John Keats

2010-06-14T22:11:00.004+05:00

Here's a part of this poem which itself is kind of long. This is the part that we had in our Intermediate English Poetry book. It's beautiful. =')

I will posts other poems that I like too, later. So stay tuned. =D

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:

Its loveliness increases; it will never

Pass into nothingness; but still will keep

A bower quiet for us, and a sleep

Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.

Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing

A flowery band to bind us to the earth,

Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth

Of noble natures, of the gloomy days,

Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkened ways

Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all,

Some shape of beauty moves away the pall

From our dark spirits. Such the sun, the moon,

Trees old, and young, sprouting a shady boon

For simple sheep; and such are daffodils

With the green world they live in; and clear rills

That for themselves a cooling covert make

'Gainst the hot season; the mid-forest brake,

Rich with a sprinkling of fair musk-rose blooms:

And such too is the grandeur of the dooms

We have imagined for the mighty dead;

All lovely tales that we have heard or read:

An endless fountain of immortal drink,

Pouring unto us from the heaven's brink.

Sana

Understanding Me

2010-06-13T22:29:00.002+05:00

I like doing... things... extraordinary, new, quite unknown to most.

Sana

One of the best days of my life!

2010-06-09T20:52:00.004+05:00

I wish today would go on forever. I will hold on to it for a very long time! Sweet, right out of Marianne Keyes, magical day. Thank you God! Really what I needed! =)))

Sana

White Oleanders

2010-06-08T18:52:00.002+05:00

Paranoia. Need to unwind.

Sana

Life

2010-06-04T21:02:00.003+05:00

Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances, you just have to live life to the fullest. Laugh as much as you can, spend all your money, tell someone what they mean to you, tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someones hand, comfort a friend, pig out, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, smile until your face hurts, don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love... & most of all live in the moment cause when you look back someday knowing you have no regrets its going to be what makes you smile. =)

So much for following my heart

2010-06-04T20:20:00.009+05:00

My hearts reaching out for 'other' stuff now more than ever. Silly thing, why didn't you speak up before?!! You are more than two years late. C'mon, drudge along (no, work hard and smart) Sana, you'll make a good doctor/scientist! =)

And of course I can always do other courses later on in life. The sky is (not) the limit!

Hey there Bugs, we have a deal, we're partners, together in this. This is what we do, our gift right? *handshake*

We're gonna be awesome doctors and help each other through! Make the world a better place. Thank you. =)

So, I will be off to study now. Stay focused. This is where I belong.

Sana

Research Work and Studies

2010-06-02T21:47:00.007+05:00

The whole research thing is getting funked. I mean not turning out as I would have liked it to have. =) I have certain very original ideas that Sir keeps saying would make an 'interesting' project, I know. And when he asked me to read more on it, I did. But lately he's too busy with meetings and dinners and the stuff I mailed him, I don't know whether and when he will get the time to read it.

Apart from that, we are Research Group 10 and as Dr. Bukhari sez, all the group are equal. But I can't help smelling a hint of favoritism. Hmph. Evil Genius (cyberneticvirus) has some really nice ideas but they all have some technical/biological difficulty or the other that we are still tackling. I would like if Dr. Bukhari would get /make the time to have a long, uninteruppted chat/discussion with us about what we want. Hoping for things to progress much more nicely.

The animal training thing is weird too. Sir sent an entirely different group of students to Ojha this time. He didn't inform us about it so I am assuming he is going to send us too but later sometime.

Sir showed us how to sacrifice, decapitate and dissect a rat today. The smell was awful.

My midterm exam is this month and I am really aiming for a 4 GPA so I need to study as well. So, I'm dropping the whole going-the-extra-mile for the research thing abhi, wese bhi it isn't bearing any results (uggh!) and just being normal about it. Focus more on the parhai at hand phir whole July off hoega that I so am gonna make very productive. All the best to me! =)

Also, I want pure, jumpin' jelly happiness to start and the summer heat to stop! =)

Sana

Buffet Champion

2010-06-01T20:36:00.001+05:00

=D Worked hard for it! Cutest badge I got ever!

Sana

Neurogenesis

2010-05-29T14:22:00.002+05:00

Science News Magazine for June 16, 2007. It states, "Exercise, estrogen, antidepressants, marijuannalike compounds, stimulating enviornments, and high social status, along with strokes and other injuries (promote neurogenesis.)" While,"Aging, stress, sleep deprivation, barren enviornments, and methylphenitate (Ritalin) damp it down."

And the following piece is from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_txCOzrWvU&feature=related :

It appears that we are made even better than we thought. The human body and its systems are engineering wonders. The human brain is the most complex arrangement of matter in the universe. Now, research shows that your brain is even more wonderfully made than anyone thought.

It used to be believed that the brain cells you were born with were all the brain cells you would ever have. Then, research showed that canaries grow new brain cells to learn new songs. Later research showed that the human hippocampus grows new cells. That's the part of your brain where you form memories and remember new faces. Research now shows that your cerebral cortex also gets new cells every day. That's the part of your brain where you do higher intellectual functions and where your personality lies. The study, which used macaque monkeys, concluded that literally thousands of new brain cells are added to your cerebral cortex every day. Scientists concluded that this also happens in humans because monkeys' bodies usually work pretty much the same as human bodies. Scientists hope that this finding may help develop new treatments for degenerative brain diseases and to replace cells that are lost with age.

God has given us wonderful bodies that have amazing abilities, many of which we are still learning about. There is not enough good luck in the universe to enable blind evolutionary chance to create our bodies, much less our brains. Our very existence bears witness to God's wisdom and power.

Sana

Brain Foods - Which should you eat?

2010-05-26T18:11:00.001+05:00

This is an article from http://www.memory-improvement-tips.com/brain-foods.html =)

Here's the scoop on brain foods. Like you, I've always heard that certain brain foods can help you think better and improve memory. But I was never quite sure which foods to eat.

Well, after doing lots of reading, I found some answers. It turns out there are several types of foods that can protect your brain, improve how well it works, and even build new brain cells.

First, let me clear up a common myth: yes, you can grow new brain cells as an adult! The myth that your brain stops growing is false. Lots of new research proves that your neurons (brain cells) can put out new branches and make new connections no matter what your age.

Of course, all cells need nutrients to grow. So including brain foods in your diet gives your brain the building blocks it needs. More neurons and connections in your brain equals a stronger memory and a mind that simply works better.

1. Healthy Fats - Build Your Brain

Much of a brain cell's structure is made up of what are called "healthy fats". The most important of these are the Omega-3 fatty acids. As your brain repairs itself and grows new neurons, it needs an abundant supply of Omega-3s from your diet.

The best sources of Omega-3 fats include cold-water fish such as salmon and albacore tuna. Flaxseed oil is also an good source. Other foods with Omega-3 are canola oil, soybeans, walnuts, wheatgerm, and eggs.

2. Antioxidants - Protect Your Brain

As we age, substances in our bloodstream known as "free radicals" attack and break down our brain cells. If you don't fight this, you are likely to experience age-related memory loss when you get older.
Fortunately, there are a lot of foods that contain a helpful substance called "antioxidants". These antioxidants merge with the free radicals in your blood and make them harmless. So it pays to eat lots of antioxidant foods every day.

Good sources of antioxidants include tea (especially green tea), blueberries and other berries, red grapes, tomatoes, broccoli, garlic, spinach, carrots, whole grains, and soy.

3. High-Tyrosine Proteins - Spark Your Brain

Besides neurons, your brain also includes important chemicals called "neurotransmitters". Neurotransmitters are the messengers that carry brain signals from one neuron to the next. You may have a great brain structure, but if your supply of the different neurotransmitters is insufficient your brain won't function properly.

Some components of neurotransmitters, such as tryptophan, can't be made within the body but must be consumed directly from your diet. Others such as tyrosine can be made by the body but still require the right foods in your diet.

The best neurotransmitter-building foods for boosting alertness, energy, and concentration include seafood, meat, eggs, soy and dairy products. To avoid sabotaging yourself, eat the low-fat, low salt varieties (for example, eat lean cuts of meat or low-fat cottage cheese).

4. Water - Hydrate Your Brain

As you probably know, most of your body is water. It is very easy to not consume enough water and become dehydrated. Being even slightly dehydrated decreases your mental energy and can impair your memory.

Drink at least three or four liters of water a day. I like to carry around a one-liter bottle and just fill it up whenever I pass a water fountain.

5. Vitamins & Minerals - Brain Building Blocks

Certain vitamins and minerals are also important building blocks for your brain. You definitely want to avoid any kind of vitamin deficiency. The best way to do so is to supplement with vitamin and mineral tablets.

The most important for brain function are Vitamins C, B12, and B6. So take a Vitamin C supplement daily and consider taking a B Complex vitamin along with it.

Some important minerals for brain building include Iron (for women, especially) and Calcium. Deficiencies of either of these have been shown to impair learning.

An easy way to get most of your most important vitamins and minerals is to simply take a multivitamin each day. Personally, I take a multivitamin, a fish oil capsule (for Omega-3 fatty acids), a 1,000 mg Vitamin C tablet, and a B Complex vitamin.

Make sure you always take your vitamins with food and not on an empty stomach. Not only will you avoid a stomach ache, but vitamins and minerals need to combine with food in your digestive system or they will be to a large degree wasted.

6. Fiber - Regulate Your Fuel Supply

Fiber is a surprising brain food, but an important one. Okay, fine, it's not really a "food". But fiber does help your brain function at its best. The reason is that fiber helps slow the absorption of sugar from your diet.

Your brain operates 100% on sugar. But the trick is that the sugar must be delivered in a very steady stream and in the proper amount or your brain gets overwhelmed. Eating enough fiber slows your digestion and results in the sugar in your food being delivered into your bloodstream gradually.

Foods containing healthy amounts of fiber include dried fruits (such as raisins, dates, prunes, and apricots), vegetables (such as green peas, broccoli, and spinach), peas and beans (such as black-eyed peas, lima beans, and kidney beans), nuts and seeds (such as flaxseed and almonds), whole fruit (such as apples with the skin, oranges, avocados, kiwi, and pears), and whole wheat grains (such as barley, brown rice, and the various whole wheat pastas and cereals).

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So there you have it. To keep your brain healthy and your memory at its best, simply start eating foods from all of these groups on a regular basis.

Slowly replace the high-sugar, high-fat foods in your diet with these healthy brain foods. Not only will your brain and memory benefit, but your body will, too. I guarantee you will notice a difference!

Sana

Philosophy of Human Emotions: 1

2010-05-22T18:07:00.008+05:00

Feeling used and wasted. There comes a point (many points and lines and pages upon pages of scribbles!) when it feels like you are the only one trying desperately and often unsuccessfully to glue back your dreams and no one else cares much. Times like these loneliness and tears creep in. But one too many times and you get enough of it. Then I would just sit and glue all the pieces back again, help myself up and dust off my clothes. Take in a deep breath and with a heavy heart step forward again, with a smile that comes with acceptance and a hope that comes out of experience.

Oftentimes I have felt misunderstood and denial is not the answer, again, acceptance is. Harshfully debasing yourself and not having hope and letting other things force on you that you are not deserving is cruel. You are always deserving. Knowing in your own heart that you have done good, when you have, and will always do good is what makes survival possible, even at the doorstep of bleakness and death. And also knowing that there is good around you, only would it be willing to show.

Because, when you have nothing you have experience. When you have no one, you still have yourself. And when there is no where to look, there is always God above you. When there is no where to go, you go to your heart, and in there is where you should have been all along. When you find out that what you have always held on to for your dreams is not really that much invincible, you start thinking. When you can't find the answers out in the world, you start looking in.

Comforting arms around a giant, fluffy teddy bear is a very warm and a very cute idea. But when winter strikes and the coldness penetrates, you shall find the warmth in yourself. This world is amazing. We all experience totally different things. What I've felt maybe you have not and what you have gone through, maybe I never will. Yet, we are all humans, animals, and angels. We feel in our heart that beats, in the blood that rushes through, in the eyes that gazes up and around and in the hand that stretches out. Unconditional friendship and love is a miracle. A forever lasting companionship is rare. Certain things come once in a lifetime. You can never lose if you have never had it. You should never lose it tho' once you have it.

Sana

Brain Transplant

2010-05-19T22:49:00.000+05:00

The one idea that really interests me, apart from several others when talking about experimental research, is that of brain transplant. Yes, it is interesting and I want to make it happen. But, when really I think of it, I don’t get a very happy and perfect feeling, and I guess it is because of the ethical issues concerning it that haunt me, just doesn’t feel right. I don’t know why I want to do it. Maybe because that’s the single most, biggest idea in my head right now. Maybe it is the far-fetchedness and the deceptive impossibility surrounding it and the enormously incredible fear of it being possible, of it happening.
Kher, let’s see. For now, I am just happy enough to read and talk to people about it. Maybe write a sci-fi novel. Maybe succeed in doing it on rats, or mice…
Don’t even want to start thinking of it in humans. Sort of evil, not right. Allah has made us beautiful.. Can’t bring myself to think of that until and unless I honestly have a truly, purely good reason .. =)

Sana

I hope now...

2010-05-04T16:55:00.000+05:00

A Shock of Violet

2010-04-24T18:42:00.005+05:00

The beginning is a sad one, and so is the end.

Rejoice every moment, for that's how it gets.

The story is crashing like waves, they tear. And then come the tears.

The heart burns and cries and it bleeds in a shock.

Something grips it as it beats. The chronicles begin, they yearn to complete

Her being is simple, like the lily of the pond. She knows smiles and love and care, all she's worth.

Of her you won't see many, or maybe none at all.

The world could kill the simple, but the simple would outlive all.

So a shock of Violet is what she is.

A ray of sunshine is what she is.

Sana

Meteor Shower by Owl City

2010-04-11T23:26:00.012+05:00

Lyrics of this song that I am listening to right now. The whole song lasts 2 mins and 13 seconds and is slow, solemn and heartfelt. Here,

I can finally see that you're right there beside me.

I am not my own, for I have been made new.

Please don't let me go, I desperately need you.

I am not my own, for I have been made new.

Please don't let me go, I desperately need you.

It is about us owing our life to Him. According to the Bible, Jesus lay down his life for us, for our sins, and spared us from death. So we are not our own, we don't live for ourselves. But for God. We are a new creation. We exist to bring Him glory. And for that we need Him a lot in our lives, we desperately need Him. =) Anyways, I am a Muslim, and even though the teachings of the Quran (as opposed to the Bible, the inspiration behind this song) are what I follow, the message here in this song is so awesomely powerful. I think it is lovely. And that's what I believe in too, in Hazrat Eesa (AS) and that we need Allah in our lives always and forever, more than anything and more than ever. =)

And also, a bit from the Bible. Here,

1 Corinthians 6:19-20:

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

And Corinthians 5:17:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Keeping it Good

2010-03-29T15:40:00.003+05:00

Got my third semester marks sheet today. Didn't look at it until I was out of the college gate because I wanted a really good GPA but I knew what sort of hard work I had put in. So, in those few moments that I held my marks sheet in my hands, the marks unseen, I waited for some magic to work. But yeah, I also knew that it wasn't not gonna happen. That magic will happen the day I put in my best. Yet again, not my best performance. First semester, studied, adjusted, didn't know how to. Second semester, started getting an idea of what I gotta do but was too bummed to put in my all, did badly. Third semester, knew how to study, did study too, messed up with the revisions and the little details. Fourth semester, starts from the 1st of April. It's time to shine. And the Sun is a star after all, right?

Sana

An orange cat

2010-03-11T22:29:00.003+05:00

and the sun and the moon. And a lil pink kitty on the moon. Lol.

Have a nice day, everyday

2010-03-10T23:16:00.018+05:00

I'm wondering what it'd be like to be hurled back into time and space and a galaxy of donuts. A vacuum where donuts float around soft, marshmallow planets. Once in a lifetime when all your saccharine dreams come true and diabetes mellitus and molar cavities are truly unheard of. I know this world that we live in is a far cry from all that sugary sweetness that I can imagine and savor endlessly, this world is a rough place. A dark place where cold-hearted bloodshed and family drama and lies are more common than a child can imagine. A place that with each passing day becomes more consumed with a hunger for power, a thirst for winning and selfishness bordering on cruelty, and God must be so disappointed, yes. Anyways, not digressing now, back to our land of marshmallow love and warm fuzziness.

So, what if one day you woke up and made your way to that sink where you brush your teeth and splash water on your morning face and when done you step out, your eyes opening to the sunny day ahead, a day chirping with bird songs and and a day busy with a feeling of hard work. What if you trip up a little deliberately and slip down a little effortlessly and swim a little like a man, feel a little in your hands and imagine yourself becoming a little cotton ball, almost silk, dipped in milk. You roll out creamily from under the door, into the world where you've never been before, where purity and love and pristine trust is blowing in the air that surrounds you. And drop by drop the milk evaporates and into a light cotton ball you transform and then into the air you fly away to palaces and over the oceans, to cozy cottages and where grannies knit sweaters and kids skip and hop and all the adults smile and animals get stroked. Where you are not defined by your mistakes, and emotions and intelligence are in perfect balance. And as you, as a cotton ball, fly over like a pollen grain, flowers bloom and you land upon a little girl's shoulder. And she turns her face to you and says with a smile, "Hello there cotton ball, I missed you for this while.." How would you feel then.. Would you smile and say hello, or staring back at her will be all you that will know?

Sana

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ^^

2010-03-05T04:47:00.006+05:00

The lady was trynna prove something, I guess

Four times she strutted over and glared to discipline me

And the knee-jerk hammer, sucha a headache to handle

The mercury thermometer murdered me

Such an incredible mess, simply a mess

And as for the rest

It was as fine as Robo-Pengwen

GIT rocked... felt the best!

Mary Poppins! =)

A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

The medicine go down-wown

The medicine go down

Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

In a most delightful way

Sana

Elf turns 19 and Vamp turns 20!

2010-02-08T02:50:00.002+05:00

20 candles ^^

2010-02-05T21:46:00.004+05:00

When I'll wake up tomorrow, I won't be 19 anymore. ^^

I'll be 20 years young!

Sana

2010-02-05T14:39:00.004+05:00

Sana

I want a cute little kitty cat =)

2010-02-03T00:25:00.003+05:00

Sana

Mess with me and I'll mess your hair

2010-02-01T23:50:00.002+05:00

You have to go to the hospital when you are sick. And the doctors are not supposed to take it as a joke. Well, I am gonna be a doctor. That's gonna be hard for me.

Sana

An angel to hold her

2010-01-31T22:53:00.018+05:00

crumbling like a chocolate cookie, its crumbling is so sad, that's what they told her

now do you see the chocolate fountain that has always been there, they sold her

if these days were a person and what is happening were moods, all written and kept in a folder

it'd be known far and wide that the person's bipolar, go hold her, they told her,

a high riding joy on a yellow sunny day the world is echoing with laughter, sweet laughter,

it rains and it pours it gets dark, lonely and cold, go give her your shoulder,

and you fall down on the ice-hard floor, go hold her,

the pillow... the teddy bear.. go on, hold.. they told her,

you forget simple things, you can not hear, you can not see what is in front of me, getting older..

a mind so preoccupied it's made of it.. a world of preoccupied.. no place for it.. darker and colder

a bleeding heart and a wounded deer, an unwinged bird's silent cry is all you hear.. go hold her..

ure the bird in the cage, crying softly to death, dying of dying inside, inside her heart a void

God send an angel by my side..............to hold her

Sana

Life is no novel

2010-01-31T21:54:00.009+05:00

Trying hard to concentrate on that program on teevee that you love to watch

But it's way to hard to even keep up with the storyline now

It's like postpartum depression without the awesomeness of being it wow

So you better believe it is true, all those sad.. wrecked.. Marian Keyes doesn't lie

It happens for real

But there's a happy ending

This is life

And it's not a novel, no way

It's worse than a novel...

But it has always been way better than it too, great, wait... it is a fairytale. I promise.

Sana

Sorry

2010-01-31T21:43:00.004+05:00

how does it feel to have your heart broken and tears spilling all over ur face

no one to hold you tight as you die deep inside and inside out

they know what it is all about and you know what it is not

like getting stabbed and shattered into a million pieces ready to be stepped over

dont care dont care care care, nothing matters at all

its over its over its awesome and over and over and over again

its like no one ever knows love or trust or care anymore

awesome people become strangers and walls get built around them

ready to let it go sounds easier than you would know

ready to bleed to death i will be alive and will be dead

Sana

2010-01-27T14:01:00.002+05:00

Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.

Sana

The Perfect Life

2010-01-06T20:46:00.003+05:00

Sana

Diary Blog

2010-01-05T22:13:00.003+05:00

Hey bloggie...

I'm makin another blog. Yayie. Private blog =)

If I feel right, I'll publish the posts I do there over here too. Still gonna update this blog too.

Right now, I am wondering what to call it. 2010.

xxx

Sana

Darkness, take over.

2009-12-28T20:07:00.007+05:00

It's a dead world. Everything is dying. The leaves are all dried and crumpled up. I feel dead when I am not feeling alive. Passivity has its tentacles spread all over me, injecting me slowly with a poison that I'm finding harder to fight off. It is so hard to concentrate and study for more than ten minutes without a sudden fear of the unknown making it hard for me to breathe. I can't do what I want to do. I don't do what I want to do. Numbness. The best I can do is read a storybook, watch a movie, even typing online or on my cell phone is like a huge task now. My mind wills the words to type themselves, but never does that happen. I am not going to fight this feeling anymore. Or run away. I have hope. Once that I fully let it happen, do all it can to me, maybe I will be back. Alive. Feel full and complete without anything bothering me. For fighting with it and not letting it get to me doesn't fully work. I still have it in the back of my mind. Deep in my heart. I am gonna get lost and then find my way back. Maybe that's the only way for now. I am done. Just let me be. Darkness, take over. =) I still have good in me, but it'll be some time until light shines upon it. Without light, it'll be so hard to know and see. But just trust. I think it'll be okay.

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

Sana

Snowy Alaska

2009-12-25T22:37:00.002+05:00

It was a chilly winter afternoon, snowing like it would never stop. The rabbits and the bears and the brown deer were no where to be seen. The only sound was of the cold wind. The trees stood still in a fluffy coat of white. I walked down the road and across the frozen pond, stopping and staring for moments at my reflection below me. I smiled, it smiled back. I waved, and it waved back. I hugged, but it was only me.

Julian had gone to Alaska. And all I had left of him were his skates. I was holding them in my arms even then, too scared to wear ’em because then I would have to skate across, not that I did not know how to. I loved skating. More than walking. But then, I loved running too.

I wanted to stand there on the frozen pond forever. For until the sun would come out and the summer warmth would melt the ice below me into water. I stood there and sang songs out loud and I could see fog coming out of my mouth. That felt magical.

I sat down on ice and wore his skates. They smelled of Julian and were soft on the inside, just like his hair. I got up and took in a deep breath. I was sure now. I know what I wanted to do. I was gonna skate all the way to Alaska, to Julian. I knew I could do it. It was his skates and me. I missed him.

I skated and skated. Sun down to sun up. Light and dark and light again. Blizzards and storms, the cold wind piercing into my white skin. But the thought of being with him kept me warm. A fire burned inside me. I met people on the way, Eskimos, penguins, scientists, and even an Egyptian guy riding a camel, he said he might have lost his way, and I thought “You think..!” Anyway, I drew him a map and he was very thankful and happy. I smiled. Oh, and I kept getting food on my way too. Like the Egyptian guy handed me cooked fish and spicy rice, as well as some grapes and oranges.

Half-way across my journey I spotted a tent. It looked uninhabited. Well I could sure rest in it for a while. Finders keepers, that’s what I say. I lifted up the flap and went in. It was real cozy inside. Like it had been waiting for me. A warm smile spread across my face. I lied down on the feathery blanket and looked at the sky. Yes, the roof material of the tent was transparent, plastic. The stars twinkled down on me.

The time in my wrist watch had frozen. Yes, I’d lost track of time. I got up and started skating again. And it was all white around me. I was beginning to feel lonely now. I wished I had brought my pet cat, Chocoboss, along with me. I missed its purrs and lovable meows and it cuddling into me. I rubbed my eyes then because I saw a whiter shape in the fog ahead of me. It was like my reflection, my speed, skating. I did not think twice about colliding into it. I was curious and kept going, a half smile of amusement and an eyebrow raised. Aaaand bump.!

Stars exploded above my head and I got up from wherever I had fallen. It took me some seconds to adjust my vision. Julian! Julian smiled at me. I smiled back in my drunken, sleepy way. Rubbed my right eye and then my left and then went straight on to poke him. Poke! Sounds of my and his laughter escaped. Jolly, jolly winter time.

“Smart guy, what are you doing here?”

“Just skating. Thought I’d come over to meet you.”

“I thought the same thing. Your skates are nice by the way.”

“Really? I love yours even more!”

Julian smiled and Daffodil poked him again. He poked her back. She told him about the camel and he told her about the shark he’d caught. He laughed heartily and Daffodil stood wide-eyed in amazement. Julian, like always, stuck his tongue out at her. And Daffodil playfully poked him again. And then they skated over to the tent she had found. As they rested he saw a passport size picture stuck under the blanket.

“Oh my God! It’s that lost Egyptian guy! This must be his tent!”, Daffodil exclaimed. A short while or a long while later they decided to skate somewhere else. And off they disappeared into the fog. Pokes and giggles breaking the ice around them. Like I said, I love skating. And this is the reason why.

Sana

Smiling hearts <3

2009-12-24T21:56:00.007+05:00

Found this in a really cute lil book some weeks ago.. =D It is so cute. The book has tonnes of stories about two cute hearts. Soft red heart and Lil red heart. ^^

Soft red heart : Lil red heart!

Lil red heart : Mmmhmm..

Softie coos in a voice so soft and cuddly "Aww what happened?" *grabs Lil and hugs it tight*

*Lil red heart closes eyes. Tears dripping.*

Softie sez "You are so precious and honey sweet, you are so beautiful, you make me beat." *smiles*

*Lil red heart opens eyes*

Softie : Aww you have the most beautiful emerald eyes in the world.. filled with so much love.

*Lil red heart starts smiling a bit*

Softie : Awww *goo goo eyes!* ^^

*Softie jumps on Lil, kissheyz and huggiez, attacks all over*

*Lil red heart giggles* Lil heart heart sez "You make me beat too!"

*Lil grabs Softie aww yum yum yum!*

Softie : Aww and you make me go all red ^^ *kissheyz all over again*

The two heartyz smiles and are flushed red with warm blood.

Heartyz whisper .. Always besides you.. Won't beat without you.. You are my reason to smile.. My sunshine on a blue sky.. Always and forever ^^

Sana

Ugg, Midterm.

2009-12-02T14:13:00.005+05:00

Midterm again. 5th December. -_-

I want to study those biochem things we had in first semester ..now. After all these months. But we've moved on to Carbohydrates. That's what coming in the exam. Ugg. Why can't I study what I want to, when I want to. =| Or convince myself to want to study what I have to, when I have to *space*

Devil Wears Prada, reading that, wish I could go into books and live in them whenev I feel bored. Like right now.

xxx

Sana

Snowflakes

2009-11-29T17:19:00.004+05:00

Go catch a snowflake, its snowing, but not where I live,

So go catch a snowflake for me,

Go catch a snowflake and gently wrap it up,

In a red ribboned box send it over to me. =)

Sana

The Chosen One ^^

2009-11-29T16:26:00.002+05:00

Sana:
sidrah can i ask u smthn?

Sidrah:
yes?

Sana:
r U da CHosen one *eerie music plays*

Sana:
?

Sidrah:
maybe i m *mysterious smile*

Sana:
*nods slowly* welcome, welcome to the clan

Sidrah:
i noe ure not! *an eyebrow raised*

Sidrah:
the chosen 1 ..

Sana:
*smiles widely* thats what they awl think...and say...*smiles gain and tilts head to the rright* i might nawt be the chosen 1....I AM THE ONE BY WHOM AWL ARE CHOSEN *wind blows*

Sidrah:
nahhh...ure just a vampiress *glare*

January 18 2009 at 7:41pm

Sana

Another Story

2009-11-19T21:04:00.001+05:00

The snow flakes fell gently all over the city, covering everything: the ground, the roof tops, the traffic signals and the hats and scarves and shoulders of all. One black scarf dotted with snow carefully crossed the road, the headlights lighting her up in the night. She walked down a quiet street and felt through her velvet pocket for the keys. In a few moments she was home.

Inside it was warm and she had turned the heater on. She took the scarf and the velvet off her and hung it back in the closet. She washed her face and applied some moisturizer and changed into her home clothes, t-shirt and pajamas. Smiling, she walked into the kitchen and put the coffee maker on. Her curly black hair hung loosely down her waist and her fingers tapped on the counter.

She took her mug of coffee and drank it slowly standing in the balcony. It faced the forest outside the city and for miles and miles all she could see were trees and a road that disappeared into them. After a while she went to bed.

Life had been hard for Meg lately. It was a weekend and she’d probably spend it at home, doing her assignment and catching up on sleep. Liz might drop by in the afternoon and they’d go out for pizza later. Otherwise, she’s make her own dinner.

Meg and Liz had been mermaids once. But they were really curious about the land. All mermaids were, but they were the ones who’s wish had been granted. Of course, of this they both remembered nothing. They had been humans for as long as they knew.

***

At the other side of the city, in a noisy pub, a man sat with a huge grin on his oily, red face. He was surrounded by his mates who were laughing loudly and thumping at the wooden tables and at each other, falling here and there. Obviously, they were a bit too drunk. Tipsy men guffawing and singing along to a mad, mad song. Alay aaa aa aa aaa aah, the oily red face hummed.

Some other guys. Who weren’t drunk roamed about waving and saying “Hey man, ssup?” to everyone they passed. They were four, all dressed up in black leather and their slick hair gelled back. They looked to be twenty-ish. They approached the oily, red face.

“Mr. Anderson!” one of them exclaimed. The oily red face turned and broke into and even bigger grin and got up.

“Michael! Come here boy! How‘ve you been?” The oily, red face, Mr. Anderson , spoke out loud and gestured at him to come over.

“I’ve been fine man, see, here’s Joey, Shane and Adam!” Michael pointed at the other leather jacket pals one by one. “And guys, this is Anderson, Deego Anderson.” The leather jacket pals shook their hands warmly and energetically with Deego. As the space around Deego started to clear up, in honor of these four seemingly important men, they sat down.

“Drinks’ on the house!” the bartender announced. The night began.

***

Sana

Love Like Winter

2009-11-18T17:59:00.003+05:00

Warn your warmth to turn away
Here it's December every day
Press your lips to the sculptures and surely you'll stay
For of sugar and ice, I am made

It's in the blood
It's in the blood
I met my love before I was born
He wanted love, I taste of blood
He bit my lip and drank my war from years before

She exhales vanilla lace
I barely dreamt her yesterday
Read the lines in the mirror through the lipstick trace
"Por siempre," she said,
"It seems you're somewhere far away"
To his face

It's in the blood
It's in the blood
I met my love before I was born
She wanted love, I taste of blood
He bit my lip and drank my war from years before

Love like winter
Love like winter

It's in the blood
It's in the blood
I met my love before I was born
He wanted love, I taste of blood
He bit my lip and drank my war from years before

Sana

Something Unmagical

2009-11-15T12:51:00.004+05:00

Everything's pretty good lately. I saw Another Cinderella Story on Friday, starring Selena Gomez and Drew Seeley. The songs were nice and I loved the part where they danced on either side of the mirror/glass. My mamu came back home last noight from the hospital. His appendix was removed, it had burst.. The cut hasn't been stitched up yet. It will get so soon. Had a fun day in college yesterday bringing lameness back along with the realization that "bas do hee maqsad hain." Believe me you so do not want to know ke woh do hain kiya. I've put up a few movies on for download; Juno, District 9, Jennifer's body, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Studies well, I discovered something. Haha xP Remember how I always space out and then doze off a couple of minutes into studying? That isn't going to happen anymore! How? Well, it's so UNMAGICAL lol! And oh it's Top Secret, am not gonna write it on my blog. =D

But as for bodyquaking in anatomy lectures... well, somethings aren't that easy to change. No matter what super, unmagical, secret solution you find.

I'm reading this book, The Bookseller of Kabul these days and it's completely different from the sort of chic-lit novels I'd been literally gorging on for the past half year? Oh God.

Ooh, my third semester midterm exam is on the 27th of Nov., which most prolly is also the Chand raat (Baa Baa) And apart from that there's tonnes more which I'm gonna write hopefully after my exams. And I'm gonna make something that I might put up. Till then, take care. Be seeing ya.

Sana

Disney's Hercules - Go the Distance - Michael Bolton

2009-11-07T22:47:00.004+05:00

I have often dreamed

Of a far off place

Where a hero's welcome

Would be waiting for me

Where the crowds will cheer

When they see my face

And a voice keeps saying

This is where I'm meant to be

I'll be there someday

I can go the distance

I will find my way

If I can be strong

I know ev'ry mile

Will be worth my while

When I go the distance

I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road

To embrace my fate

Though the road may wander

It will lead me to you

And a thousand years

Would be worth the wait

It may take a lifetime

But somehow I'll see it through

And I won't look back

I can go the distance

And I'll stay on track

No I won't accept defeat

It's an uphill slope

But I won't lose hope

Till I go the distance

And my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part

For a hero's strength is measured by his heart

Like a shooting star

I can go the distance

I will search the world

I will face its harms

I don't care how far

I can go the distance

TillI find my hero's welcome

Waiting in your arms...

I will search the world

I will face its harms

TillI find my hero's welcome

Waiting in your arms...

Sana

If my heart was...

2009-10-26T18:32:00.003+06:00

If my heart was a face, you'd be the smile,

If my heart was spot, you'd be the spotlight,

If my heart was a star you'd be its shine,

If my heart was yours then you would be mine,

If my heart was your breakfast, you'd never be hungry when you woke up,

If my heart was a bubble it would burst with your love,

If my heart was a heart then you'd be its beat,

If my heart was you, then I would be complete.!

I love winters because your favorite color is black,

My sweater is soft and as black as it could get,

And when your arms are around me , everything's so warm,

Wrapped in my sweater is like being wrapped in your arms.!

And the cold wind and the gentle breeze.. are like your presence.. surrounding me.!

If my heart was a magnet, you'd be perpetually stuck to me,

Like the raindrops pitter-pattering, you poke at me so playfully,

The world revolves real slow as we ballroom dance to our secret beat,

And my heart is yours, 'cos hey, you're its beat.!

My heart would go bleeding if you ever go away.

Stay.

Sana

Deradell - The Dead Person

2009-10-25T21:54:00.007+06:00

Get up dead person and start mopping the blood-stained floor.
Get up from your couch and go open the rusty door.
The madman is here and he's got a shotgun gun in his hand.
He's gonna shoot you to life, so better run, don't you stand.!

Your red, blood-shot eyes and your purple dilated veins,

The pallor all over your mask-like face,

Your head must throb too much, you might have gone insane,

The mice they go scurrying across your bedroom like balls,

The madman is here and your name is all that he calls.!

The clock moans at 12 and the moon shines dimly high above,

It's as pale as your cheeks, seems like you've been in a war with love,

A blue river shimmer in the moonlight like your eyes so subtly grey,

And you look out of the window and you're beginning to breathe as you pray,

The madman is getting closer, runnnn, his shot is on its way.!!

Sana

Owl City!!!

2009-10-23T16:12:00.006+06:00

Owl City is my new favorite music =D I love their song Fire Flies (Thanx Coral!) and I'm downloading some more songs by Owl City right now. =D They are:

Vanilla Twilight

West Coast Friendship

If My Heart Was a House

Dental Care

Fuzzy Blue Lights

The Tip of the Iceberg

Strawberry Avalanche

The Bird and the Worm

Rainbow Veins

I absolutely LURVE the song names! And yeah, more so because I live in Owl City too when left to my own devices! =) Hoot, hoot! My new obsession, yeah!!! I am so mad about Owl City all of a sudden, the lyrics are perfect and the voice is soft =) ! I've put up Vanilla Twilight and Fire Flies on my blog! <3

Sana

That Hurts ..alot.

2009-10-22T20:07:00.006+06:00

That Hurts .. alot.

Screams and shouts and lies and fights,

Heartless people out of their minds,

They say hurtful stuff and know it is so quite well,

I can't take it for long, cos it is the kind of hurt I can't stand,

It cuts through my body, my heart and my soul,

I try putting up like I don't care at all,

Cos I don't know how to react and I guess ignoring will do,

But if they keep going on I feel like punching a wall or two,

Punching them tho' would nicely do too,

A bleeding nose for all the hurtful remarks,

A swollen eye for that acidic smile,

And still they won't know how much the words hurt,

That physical pain isn't much compared to those harsh words.

Sana

Hoo Ha, Hoo Ha

2009-10-17T18:51:00.004+06:00

Finally! Saturday! And today marks the end of the second of the third semester! Woohoo! I'm a second year meddie now! And, and, and! I brought a, wait for it, sooo wicked, wait a bit more, SKULL home today!!! Haha, my brothers were soooo wowed by it. And my sister freaked out. I've been doing the Hamlet thing with it. You know, holding the skull in my hand, staring at it and then saying, "To be or not to be, that is the question." Lol. Haha. Ok, so I was bored.

Anyway. Apart from that, our Annual Dinner was good and our song performance was HooHaaAmazing =D I did not slip, trip, forget, fell, pushed someone, or froze onstage =) Once it started, I knew nothing, I just did it and only when it ended, did it end. Oh. That doesn't makes sense. Just that. It felt like it was over before it started. Wow. Nanananananananananana.

Okay, so, finally! Saturday! The Dee Am Cee administration has gone so out of their minds in making our college some school. 90% Attendance, ID card scans, no class bunking and to top it off, calling us 6 days a week. That's why I am so glad that tomorrow is Sunday. I'm gonna rest, wake up araam se. =) Khair. Oh and studies. Well. I feel I am doing a better job now. But coming back at 3 everyday is so tiring. I eat, nap, relax, try to study, fall asleep. Mostly. And now, the one day I get off is the only day I have for proper studying. There goes my goofing off plans. =D But, but, but... I am doing a good job at balancing this time. *Pat, pat on my back*

Oh well. That will be all for now. I have tonnes to write, believe me. But, so much to do and sooooo little time. And I got to update The Story of Rindy and also Laydown's. I might put up a few more poems. But for now, I'll be off. College is going good =) Yayayaya! And I have chocolate cravings a lot. Hoo Ha, Hoo Ha!

x SaNz

Sana

Just That

2009-09-29T20:00:00.009+06:00

I have a bad cough. My throat hurts. I'd call it doggy-cough. Feels like I'm barking, lol.

I want to get a haircut again! But for that I need to have longer hair. And I do not. They hardly reach the shoulders. Hehe, why do I love this thing. Sitting in the parlour, being taken care of. But I just went last week. Do not get me wrong, the most I ever go is once every one and a half months. It was just Eid. =) But no, this time I am gonna let my hair grow.

I'm talking to Tahrim n DumDumDiamondo on Skype now. Tahrim, here's a hug for you *hugs*

I'm happier too. My mum cooked nice stuff yesterday and a yummy omelet today. I want to take a shower. I will. Soon enough.

I've got to teach my brother too, his test is on Friday. And my EVDO, wireless internet usb broke. It's gone for repair. I'm online from my Mami's usb.

A bit of news : Pro Vice Chancellor of Dow University was shot seriously injured on Tuesday when some unidentified outlaws opened fires at him, Aaj News reported.

According to the report, incident took place in North Nazimabad when Dr Salahuddin, Pro Vice Chancellor of Dow University, shot injured however he is out of danger.

He was taken to Agha Khan Hospital.

Strict and all that he is, I am glad nothing bad happened and that he is hopefully safe. Why would any one want to target kill him? It'll be awful.

I am eating Aalloo ka Paratha abhi. I'm gonna watch a coupla movies soon : Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code. I'll get Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol soon too. And we (esp. I) need tonnes of practice for the Annual Dinner thing we are doing. Tahrim, Hira Batool and I. I hope all goes well =)

Ok then, buhbye. I'll be off.

Sana

This I Promise You - N Sync

2009-09-28T22:42:00.000+06:00

THIS I PROMISE YOU (N Sync)

When the visions around you

Bring tears to your eyes

And all that surround you

Are secrets and lies

I'll be your strength

I'll give you hope

Keeping your faith when it's gone

The one you should call

Was standing here all along

And I will take you in my arms

And hold you right where you belong

'Til the day my life is through

This I promise you

I've loved you forever

In lifetimes before

And I promise you never

Will you hurt anymore

I give you my word

I give you my heart

This is a battle we've won

And with this vow

Forever has now begun

Just close your eyes

Each lovin' day

And know this feeling won't go away

'Til the day my life is through

This I promise you

Over and over I fall

When I hear you call

Without you in my life, baby

I just wouldn't be living at all

And I will take you in my arms

And hold you right where you belong

'Til the day my life is through

This I promise you, baby

Just close your eyes

Each lovin' day

And know this feeling won't go away

Every word I say is true

This I promise you

Every word I say is true

This I promise you

I promise you

Sana

To Be Alive

2009-09-28T22:19:00.004+06:00

Sometimes it is hard to keep the tears in for so long no matter how tight you shut your eyes. Sometimes it feels like the world can see through you, you're like almost a faded burning hot glow that radiates emptiness, and you feel your self clutching onto the happy straws around you. But your surroundings as they get absorbed into you, feel the opposite of reality. Down, but so pathetic that for once you don't care.

That's when a smile does it's magic. That's when you really know what love and happiness means. From the ashes of death you rise up and feel the warm, red blood trickling and tickling and then rushing through you with a life force that overwhelms you. That's when the colors around you brighten up with such an intensity that you would almost shield your eyes with your forearm. But you don't and you won't. It's wonderful. To be alive.

Sana

So I Would

2009-09-28T21:56:00.004+06:00

Why is my college starting again? This two month vacation doesn't seem enough any more. I am not really ready. Of course I could be *smiles and then sighs*. But the day I'll have to wear that white lab coat again, tuck in the ID card somewhere safe and make my way to the class, my bag hanging heavy on my shoulder seems too near (it is *gaah*) And then keep doing it every day of the week except good old Sunday. Tired, sweaty afternoons. And this time actual evening studies..daily and obviously going to bed early. Ugg Second year, third semester already. No, no, no.

It'll be better. No boredom. Every day will be different. Good. Happy. Balanced =D Yes, I am hopeful. We are going to make this year different in a good way. Okay? Okay! =) Stay. Hope. Nothing's really that bad, it's all us, how we look at it. After all, it is the attitude that counts at any and every altitude. So cheers. To everything and everyone who makes my life wonderful. I am going to make it too! So I would.

Sana

Freaky Doctor Stories

2009-09-19T01:49:00.004+06:00

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.

Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX
* * * * * * * * * * * * *

At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient.

Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
* * * * * * * * * * * *

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."

Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
* * * * * * * * * *

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
* * * * * * * * * * * * *

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive."

Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
* * * * * * * * * * *

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing
strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
Submitted by RN no name

*************************

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.
"Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

*************************

And Finally . . . . .

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'."

Dr. wouldn't submit his name

Sana

The Storm

2009-09-17T09:06:00.006+06:00

Battered and bruised,

Smiling with hope,

Tears and lies,

Kill slowly some more,

A part would die,

And some part would change,

The heart would still smile,

Hoping again and again.

Walls might get higher and stronger,

Afraid of it, so won't think any longer,

The world would go on and it wouldn't matter,

All that would, still does, please don't shatter.

Precious, rare, sit and stare,

Twinkling stars beneath the hair,

Shame and pain mingle again,

Foolish, how much, just how much.

Realisation, tears and warmth,

Far away. A birdie lost in the storm.

Sana

The Story Of Rindy : 5

2009-09-15T08:26:00.005+06:00

Gem stood up and made her way out of Darren's room. It was almost morning, the sun dawning and Rindy was back. Gem had been up all night waiting for Rindy to be back safely. She noticed Rindy's unease and fluster and offered to make her a hot cup of coffee, she knew better than to question her right then.

"Here you go," she said as she handed her the cup and sat down across her. "Thanks," mumbled Rindy. As Gem picked up bits of a leftover crumbled cookie from the packet, Rindy slurped her coffee and let out a sigh. She kept the cup beside her.

"I'm mad, Gem," she tiredly mumbled, almost as an apology.

"I can see, Rio?"

"Yes.. the stickhead," she said, with a bitter smile on her face. And then she said much more loudly, shattering all the silence, "I have had enough of this! I did what I had to do Gem! I know I did the right thing! What's his problem? Mad, mad, mad! I'll go and sleep a while now, we'll talk later." With that Rindy marched to her room and Gem heard her fall hard into the bed. Gem cleared up the table and herself very drowsy, went to bed. She sang herself softly to sleep.

Some time later, it could be hours or days, but it was really just seven minutes, Gem stirred. She was in that half asleep-half awake state, the one that she had once read was called hypnagogia. She moved a bit and dreamt of last night. Of sitting on the edge of Darren's bed and Darren getting smaller and smaller, and then there was a loud sound and she heard two high pitched voices, accusing and blaming each other and then for a moment every thing went still, Darren lay there peacefully and there was the soft hissing of the tea kettle. Her body relaxed in the bed. And then she jerked awake. Her eyes wide open. Her breathing almost stopped.

Her head throbbed and felt calm at the same time. She could now hear a little, high-pitched, voice in her head, speaking in short, quick, incomprehensible sentences. The voice was commanding someone, maybe even her. Or maybe even scolding. Ordering her to work, do something like repair and fix car parts, super computers, put all the nuts and screws in places. Mechanical work of the sort she had no idea of, was too scared of. Maybe it was telling her something else, but definitely something that Gem feared. She did not understand. All too fast, in a different language.

The clock in Gem's mind got out of control, the time racing forwards, her thoughts spinning. Her body slowed down. Every thing else slowed down. Slow music.. slowed down even more. But she felt some one was pushing it, making it go fast. Nothing seemed real. Things like the sun rising outside, the fact that Darren and Rindy would be up soon and the three of them would go out somewhere, the sound of water dripping from the kitchen tap, all so unreal, so forced.

She herself felt foreign. She longed to feel herself again. She longed for it all to feel real. She wanted to make the little witchy voice go away, but it was just there. Demanding, ordering, telling! She was afraid too that it might get more intense and more frequent. She wanted to feel again. And then, she fell asleep. A troubled, but deep sleep.

Sana

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

2009-09-14T04:58:00.003+06:00

Sana

Lemons

2009-09-12T08:00:00.008+06:00

Today seems to be a fine day. I slept early, around 1am last night, and so I was very awake during Sehri. Today I had very sweet tea and paratha, with sugar and salt sprinkled on the paratha. It's always yummy to dip large pieces of paratha into the tea before eating them. And apart from that, four spoonfuls of good, old yogurt. Like always, the Azaan on tv made me jump up to get a glass of water and gulp it down. Drinking is the hardest part of my Sehri.

Anyways, after praying I lay down but I was almost sure I wouldn't fall asleep. Still, tried. No luck. So i came online and read random Yahoo news items and stumbled across Iraqi blogs! They first two I came across, and I even read bits of them, are http://livesstrong.blogspot.com/ and http://neurotic-iraqi-wife.blogspot.com/... quite nice, as I never knew any Iraqi blogs nor did I imagine there could be so many. And they have awesome templates too.

And that's what made me think of updating my blog. I know lately I have been updating with posts that aren't much and a lot of times I do not update for long. There's a lot of stuff I want to update with but maybe it is laziness on my part, too lazy too type that has turned my blog into a very stagnant space. Oh well.

It's the 21st roza today already. And for the first time I'm keeping all of them. Except for 1, I left one..Wednesday, 9th. I'll keep it after Ramazan, hopefully.

Yesterday, Iftari at Nani's. Yum. It was great with every one gathered. Fun too, cos of Bina Khala's silly pigeon riddle and her China ka Nokia. And Adyaan was being such a cute worm, wriggling, lying like jelly on the floor! My mami made a memon dish for dinner and I do not very much like it's name =\ it sounds so ..dunno , but apart from it's name (Khawsa) everything about it is delicious, but only for so long. Do not over eat it. It's more of a sort of snack than a wholesome dinner. More details maybe later. Oh and I also got my eid dress with mum yesterday afternoon! It's a nice yellow. My sister got light blue.

I am happy now after too much of weird sadness and confusion, but there was and always is a peaceful warmth somewhere around. Like invisible protecting arms around, of an angel =) Like a loving whisper deep in the silence. It just takes a bit of time to realise and feel it. And then sunshine breaks through.

Today, Iftari at Elf's =D and I'll be watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button soon. Yayie. I'll try getting this book Wicked Lovely too today =D and oh I'll be going to college as a second year medie soon (October).

If life gives you lemons, make some lemonade and find some one whom life handed vodka. Then party! That's all for now.

PS - Yayie, a normal human day. I've had enough of my alien times!

Sana

Little Red Wildness..

2009-09-06T03:29:00.009+06:00

What in the world is happening to me? I don't wanna change, I don't wanna grow up. I am scared of feeling ordinariness ever.

Anything that makes me feel anything else, makes me scared, cos it feels like a threat, to my dreams... and I will have to let go of them. I can feel them slipping like sand slowly out of my grip, like snow melting in my palm. I am once again on a mad roller coaster ride, crashing and burning. And somehow I think that I will be safe if I change, grow up.. And it is so scary cos it's new and I wanna run away to where Flyder Blue is.. with his red heart.. from his planet I can see all the stars and stars are peacefully ageless..

I am Sana and I wanna be me always.

A lil red something so warm, don't break..

A lil red something so sad, don't bleed..

If your red and you know it and you really want to show it,

If your red and you know it, go on, beat..

Stop turning around and making soft sounds,

Stop sinking, I thought you loved oceans,

Stop feeling the hit a change might bring,

Cos I'm wishing that it is not coming..

So what if it's so new to you, doesn't mean you should get scared,

Get scared so bad that you let your dreams shatter,

And cry and stay awake in bed..

Dreams, please don't trade 'em for new one's you've never known,

My silly lil dreams are mine to keep,

A part of me.. I realised not before now that I have always been..

Will always be, forever am, no matter how chilidish it feels, it's me

So, lil red heart, go on beating and smile,

Don't be scared of growing up,

Cos I am hugging u, even if you want out,

The blood is as red as you... <3

Sana

<3

2009-09-02T22:26:00.002+06:00

Sana

Red Rocks

2009-08-26T04:47:00.003+06:00

New, red blog layout! I made =D Yayie. Off to bed now!

Sana

Angels Under a Waterfall

2009-08-25T21:47:00.007+06:00

We learned the whole of Love - Emily Dickenson

We learned the whole of love

The alphabet, the words,

A chapter then the mighty book-

Then the revelation closed.

But in each other's eyes

An ingorance beheld

Diviner than the childhood's,

And each to each a child

Attempted to expound

What neither understood

Alas, that wisdom is so large

And so truth manifold!

Sana

Ramadan Mubarak

2009-08-23T23:37:00.002+06:00

I am so tired right now. Ramadan started today. And yes I fasted. Not once did I feel hungry or thirsty. That's a good thing. I am going to read something when I go offline now. There is not much I feel like typing or thinking, to update my blog with. After that I am going to sleep. My cell phone has been weird today, not delivering some messages. Don't know why. I hope it starts functioning normally itself, hate the thought of going out to get it fixed. My alien clock has been made weak. I have more human waking and sleeping times these days! I went to this mini-zoo with my brother yesterday, and it was fun. My brain gets all fuzzy and stuck when I am home too much. My mom made 50 samosas day before yesterday (for Ramadan) that all of us finished within the time period of 24 hours, yes, and then she made a new batch of samosas. I am drinking more Pepsi than ever, that would be like a glass every other day. I don't drink 'em at all normally. I am getting used to my short hair. BFG and Elf and I are hoping that Pizza Hut starts the All You Can Eat iftari deal, so the three of us would go... Well, we could go otherwise too. Yesterday was super, like superman =) Life's pretty amazing. Twenty of everything rocks. *Off to get more pepsi* Oh, did I mention, my blog is a year and a month old now....

Ramadan Mubarak everyone!

A more fun post coming soon.

-Sana

Zac Efron Talks

2009-08-19T18:36:00.008+06:00

So, this one time my friend.. well.. was supposed to interview Zac. And it was sort of fun. All that Zac said showed how he too is just so normal like the rest of us even tho' he is a huge celebrity! And yeah, he has tendencies to be funny too :P Like the rest of us =)

Umm, just so you know I took the pictures from some other website, while the captions are totally by me, coz people keep thinking I copy pasted 'em :|

Hi, I am Zac =D

No, really, I am Zac =\

What do you mean?!! You don't know who Zac is? ><

Haven't you seen High School Musical? Haven't you seen 17 again?!!!

I am serious! You have to know who I am!

Oh my God!!!!

You were just kidding! Ofcourse you know who I am! Jeez, I thought you were serious!

Now I am embarrased...

Anyways! I'll tell you something..

This one time I went to a party

It was my sister's birthday actually. I dressed up as the Clown

When I first found out that I had to

I was like.. YOU ARE KIDDING!!!?!!!!!!

But she was serious

So I said, ooookaaaay...

Haha, and I bought a cute little clown costume

And it was soooo hard getting myself into it!

You know the funny little shirt, the fruity trousers, and the little socks and shoes....

But it felt good... You know, like it was a challenge.. I had to win

So I became a clown then and I looked so CUTE! But then I realised I did not know how to be funny

But I knew how to scare!!!!

So the party started and everyone was there! And there I was as the Clown

I called my friend Moolish

Moolish said: No way am I coming to come to a kiddy birthday

When he said that, I was like, OKAY DUDE!!!!! Like i care!!!! I was WAY PISSED!

And right then realisation dawned upon me. I knew I was enough to do the scary act. I needed no one!

Ahahaahaa thanks for saying you think so too. Now I will tell you what I did

Rawwwwrr!! Kids run! I am gonna get youu!!!!! Rawwwr!!!

But no one ran! I was shocked beyond belief!

What?!!!!! You don't think that was scary either?!!

You are such a jerk you know..

I am gonna make you cry ya know...

So you betta watch out!

And if you so want to know, Zac Efron did not/could not make my friend cry. I mean, come on, Vampires do not cry! =D

Laydown : The Clown Will Play in his Grave

2009-08-16T03:33:00.010+06:00

Clowns, Laydown is one of them. Clowns, they surprise us all. Just when we were forgetting him, Laydown moved in his grave. And the skies turned a darker shade of black, yes, that is possible. And all the stars dimmed. The wind gushed and whispered us a song, the stream played a soft melody...

" He's building a bridge from the darkness inside,

He's laying the bricks first down inside his mind,

He's determined to reach out,

He remembers his fame,

There might be pain for Laydown,

But he is not ashamed,

They called him a sinner,

Knew not what a winner.

He knew not his own strength!

The sleep in the grave,

A process of forgetting, what else.

Gave Laydown a chance to remember, the reason, what else. "

Pre-Vaycaytionz Upd8z!

2009-08-15T21:06:00.024+06:00

Hello everyone! Today is Saturday and I am home doing things! Right now I am listening to HSM2 soundtrack (You are the Music in Me is on... so many memories! You would know Elf!) And Zac =] Lol... We need to get back to you Phill Zephron.

So starting with the start of my 2nd semester exams! First due was Anatomy. It was supposed to be on some Saturday! And I was really satisfied with as (little) much as I had prepared. Somehow, I had managed to revise acha khasa =) I slept late and woke up early to a beautiful, rainy morning! And my heart went wild, I couldn't control the joy and I ran out to the stairs and stood there feeling the rain for like 7 minutes! But then, with a huge sense of responsibility, and believe me it rarely comes to me, I walked back in to the study area and started revising what I had planned for the morning, even tho' all I wanted to do was run out into the rain!!! But then, I started getting messages about the possibility of the exam being postponed! It sounded too good to be true. But it was true! It was on several news channels and I called Dr.Nasr, he confirmed! Ahh, happy day, lol! And I slammed my books shut and ran to my mum to tell her. And then my nani called and I was telling her too! And then the maid looked confused so I told her too! =P So, I was telling this to everyone!

So, soon after I stood at my window and then took a short nap and then watched 2 movies! First one was Nanny diaries and the second one was a disney movie with Emily from Hannah Montanna in it, can't remember it's name, it had an imaginary super hero in it. Oh, a bad thing happened that day, my brother fell and hit his forehead hard. There was a lot of blood! He is good now! But the funny thing was the name his friends were calling him, "Sar phata, Chatpata" So, yes I was downstairs for like an hour and it was nice! I made a flower pond in the puddles =) and yes, it was one of those times I would never forget. Happy moments of this year. But then the electricity meters blasted and there was smoke every where. Mum called us up. My mum is SO over-protective and treats me like I am a 6 year old, but I love her! So, I was home and took a lot of silly pics while my sis was talking to her friend Hadia all the while! Lol, thanks to warid glow! At 8 in the noight we did the most spontaneous thing! All of us, my family, excluding dad, and including granma, older mami mama, older 2 khalas and their kids, we went to the cinema to watch Newyork! It was great! All the elements in perfect balance! And the songs were good too! Oh, here...

The first one is the ticket! The second one is, well, didn't I say it was raining? Well, when we were going out, it had stopped. But somewhere around 9.15pm it started again! And torrential at that! And so we had no dinner. Getting home itself seemed impossible! But we did, around half past three in the morning. And how? Well, that's another story for another time! Important thing is that we where home and on Monday was my biochem exam!

Biochem... I studied boht kam. But there was no electricity all day, all noight. Tow din mei tow parha boht kam (eleventh hourer that I was, I was piling it all up for the night and next morning - notice, I used the word was, that means used to be! I am not anymore =) hopefully), but raat ko our UPS wasn't working and we had only 1 candle, bad quality too.. I studied a bit from here and a bit from there, little pieces! God. Good thing I had kind of studied biochem at the start of the semester.

As for physiology, I did study it! But did not at all revise Respiration which I had studied quite nicely at the start of the semester with Hira, Myra,Batool and Coral!!! I did ECG from the net at 2 in the morning. And the exam, thank God, went way better than biochem.

Also, it rained on one of the exam nights and I found myself at the window 2am with my arms out wide and was enjoying listening to a handful of my favourite songs, Collide, Man in the Mirror, You are not Alone, How to Save a Life and most of all February Air. How I love to feel the rain drops on my skin. I was aching to go out.

Next was Anatomy (it got postponed, remember?) And I wasn't at all ready to revise it in one day! It was the horror of horrors! It went horrible! That is all I am going to say about it!

So, no, I wasn't free yet. OSPEs next! Hmm... so, lemme remember... oh, I'll check it from the website! Ok, so Anatomy first, then Physiology and finally Biochem. Anatomy, was I would say on the brink of average. Physiology, good! The viva people were friendly even =) And biochem, gaah! And to think I was up all night till 5 am watching this random movie on some channel, HBO? God, I freak myself out! SO the OSPE. It was like there was some black kitty curse and bloodshot eyeballs! And I had messed up the answering sequence a bit. Thank God that after all my pleading and saying please and explaining my sad case about 4 times, the red haired teacher agreed to let me get it straight. After that I was freeeeeeeeee!!!

Ok, what happened next, will be up shortly in the next post! So that's the end of 2nd semester.

And a bit for Elf, you will do great and so will Mia! For Coral, I like you and your blog happy, so don't go all sad on me please until it is very, very necessary =D. For Cyberneticvirus, everything will be alright, just give it your all. For Elf again, The Lovely Bones is very sad =(, please get mic and speakers soon then VampGirl and Elf talkie ^^

PS - This song, My Best Friend by Weezer that is playing on my blog is a dedication to.

xxx SaNz

I Wish I had a Kitty Cat and More

2009-08-08T14:44:00.014+06:00

Hola. It's my holidays now. And today marks a week of freedom! So a quick recap. The first two days were a blast! Mostly coz I was thrilled with the the feeling of no pressure to sit down and study. I wasn't home too, so all the more fun. Shopping, games, bowling, eating out, and a crazy family, esp. my khala and cousins, the perfect ingredients for a perfect day.

Anyways, then home time started. It's unfortunate that my hols started when every other school on the planet reopened. End of Summer Vacations. So, with that everyone's concerned about school, studies, tutions, homework. And consequently, no fun plans! =[ So, home wasn't that bad. I slept, watched TV, read books, painted, drew, listened to music, chatted and yeah well, played games! And I watched this movie, Bridge to Terabithia. I liked it! So, another three merry days. But a few turn offs, several plans got made and cancelled, gaah ><>

Anyways, I finished Marian Keyes. And I am now reading The Lovely Bones. It is not exactly a jolly book. Far from it. It's sometimes grim but often makes me smile in peace. It's a story told by a girl who was murdered at the age of 14. She watches the Earth from high up in her heaven and tells us about her past and about the things she sees happening on the earth after she's gone. About her family, and friends and yes, her murderer. Mostly, I would say it's a sad, peaceful book. No laughs. And that's how my mood remains even for the moments after I close the book with the end of a chapter. Sometimes I do that serene smile, even on msn or on my blog now =) And I don't speak much either. Yeah, it is the book. I'll be back to norm sometime after I turn the last page.

Moving on now, people. I drink tea more than ever these days. Dipping biscuits into a hot cup of tea, they get all soggy and feel yummy in my mouth. Apart from that, cheese, I am eating cheese on spoon too! And day before yesterday I made some cheese omelet from my own secret recipe that I concocted years ago. And I fry it pizza style :D ok, that makes my mouth water. I wanna make brownies too. Yes, I would do Betty Crocker (however you spell it)

Ok, and a bit about Elf. Where are you elf? Why do you keep disappearing!? I don't like your computer, it is always breaking down. Just so you know, I play yo ville often and your inbox must be flooded. Yeah, I know your snowed with studies. Do well, & we have BFG's hen night(day) soon. And yes, we are going to voice this afternoon, yayie!

Last night I stayed up and chatted on msn and surfed the web mostly. Updated twitter. And late night chat with Dido and voice chat with Zynsa and ate Candy biscuits. The first biscuits I ever tasted in my life. I was a wee little girl then. Rest of the night I read a bit of The Lovely Bones. And snuggled into my bed at half past four in the morning. Always the alien.

Sunday we are going to the seaside. That is tomorrow! The whole, big family. Like we always do. Grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunts :D And I am happy coz I love water, the waves, the sea. So I know I will be far deep into the waves :D Yayie!

And I want a cute, lil kitty cat. I'll take care of it. It could sleep with me and I would tie a lovely red ribbon around it's fluffy white neck :D awww. If only my mum wasn't allergic!

To making the most. Each day is brand new and a mystery :D let's see what's next and I will update when I can. Lalala. Hehe =D Muhuhahahahaaha.

So that is all for now bloggie. Will write more soon xxx

The Story of Kelly : 1

2009-08-03T17:23:00.008+06:00

So she walked on and on. No more bad, burny feelings. The weather was fabulous. Grey clouds hung low over the dark green trees on both sides of the broad walking ground and the sun strived to shine through, turning the sky silver-golden.

The guy who ran the local chocolate shop was walking his dog a few steps in front. He was wearing his pastel yellow shirt and his brown hair, like always, were messy. He had that brown color that seems to naturally have golden highlights. The dog was all washed and sqeaky clean white today. He was barking from time to time, wagging his tail all the while.

Earlier in the day, when Kelly was around 13, Rossa used to be an assistant in the shop. The man who ran the shop was Vincent, his dad. Kelly used to go there every evening and felt joyful each time she entered, she liked the jingle the door made, whenever she used to push it open. Vincent would greet her with an ear to ear grin. She would point at her favourite one for the day and say "This one!" Occasionally, her favourite one was, she believed, on the top shelf. So Vincent would ask his strong, young son, nineteen at that time, Rossa, to lift the wee little girl up. Kelly would grab the chocolate and Rossa, would put her back down gently. Once or twice he would tease her. Pretend to put her down, but lift her high up before her feet touched the ground. And then he would laugh, and she would say, "Again, Rossa, again!" And he would, but then cautious old Vincent would say, "No more, come on, hurry up Kelly, your mum must be waiting for you." And he was right. She was the only daughter of her parents and her mum would worry a lot if it took her bits more to be back. And the door would jingle again on her way out, and Kelly skipped and hopped homewards with the chocolate in a glittery little bag. Silver mostly, or pink, sometimes yellow.

.....More soon =)

So... I am Type B

2009-07-31T17:47:00.004+06:00

So, I was just online. Doing random quizes, listening to songs, etc etc. And then I came across this Type A, Type B quiz =] Hadn't heard of it before. I thought Carl Jung quiz was the main personality quiz. Anyways. Maybe it is. So, bored and nothing else to do, I did this quiz. Well, I did have stuff to do, but.. Wanted to update my blog too with something quick.

I will update my blog again. Lots. But first I will have to type. And that I shall start doing tomorrow! So for now, here's me.. laidback!

The Type A Personality Test: Results

Type A behavior pattern has been linked to a number of health problems. Although the literature is somewhat inconsistent because of problems with the conceptualization and definition of Type A behavior, studies have shown that Type A people run higher risks of cardiovascular diseases, cancer and other stress-related evils such as frequent colds, anxiety disorders, burnout, and depression. The risks seem to be reduced with intervention aimed at reducing Type A behavior. Indeed, those with pronounced Type A characteristics would be happier and healthier if they were to file down the jagged edges of their personality. By learning how to control the negative behavior patterns while preserving their drive, Type A people can be successful without sacrificing their emotional and physical well-being.

Your score = 47

Type A Score 47

What does your score mean?

You seem to have a Type B personality. Your personality draws characteristics from each of the other personality types, that is, Type A and Type C. Either you adjust your behavior depending on the situation, or you tend to be moderated in your attitudes. In any case, you are the most balanced of the three personality types.

A Walk to Remember

2009-07-23T03:46:00.003+06:00

A Walk to Remember

A Riddle for You

2009-07-20T21:37:00.000+06:00

I turn polar bears white

and I will make you cry.

I make guys have to pee

and girls comb their hair.

I make celebrities look stupid

and normal people look like celebrities.

I turn pancakes brown

and make your champane bubble.

If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.

If you look at me, you'll pop.

Can you guess the riddle?

Living Each Day

2009-07-16T00:36:00.005+06:00

Living Each Day

-another poem by Me.

These puddles will dry tomorrow,

The wind will blow us away,

And where we'll be going,

We don't know,

But.. Be my tree, be here to stay.

We'll be climbing lots of mountains,

And I know I will still be,

The girl I am, whom I have come to known...

And chasing yet my dreams.

I may not be in the mainstream,

Or splashed all over newspapers and TV,

But I believe I will be shining,

Like that star that is hidden inside me.

Nothing lasts for ever,

But there are no last times as well,

For now and always we shall grow together,

Share the life in every beat and breath!

And in the end, we'll always feel,

And I hope that you know,

There's a star aglow in us...!

And as bells jingle every winter,

Forever might be soon enough.

- Sana

And this one goes to all my

crazy best friends (Zainsa, Bushraaaaa, Batool, Ayesha Tatum...)
weird best friends, besties (Sidraaaah! , And our hen.. Saira)
hawt best friends (Coral, Hb, Suw, Angie)
blog read kerne walay and online walay friends (Taz, Cyberneticvirus, Eddie, Sarah, Adi)
and some other people who wouldn't be reading this but am still dedicating to them. Care. Just there. See how generous I am. G'night =)
Any one and Every one who has ever touched me and has inspired me =D List too long to name.
My freaky sis Saba and my brothers and all family... etc etc..!
bestest friend ( For ever )
And last, but not the least, Chris from Alpomi. Don't wonder. Don't ask.

I just felt like dedicating this one. Spur of the moment things. Make me happy. =D Hehe. Later xxx

I would fly you to the moon and back

2009-07-14T22:36:00.003+06:00

You are the reason why I have sleepless nights. You are the reason why I tend to hold my pillow tight. It's you that I'm thinking of when I lay down at night. And you are the reason why I can't sleep without saying goodnight.

Life is a matter of choice. You can be a doctor who saves life! A lawyer who defends life. A soldier who protects life. Or just be yourself, a person, who touched my life.

I wish that one day you’d miss me so much that no matter where you look for me, you wouldn’t find me. Sounds tough, right? I just want you to miss me the way I’m missing you right now.

You kiss my lips, I close my eyes, away we float to paradise.

And all the people who stop to see.... softly whisper,

"They were meant to be."

The kisses u put on my forehead when you think I'm asleep..

are the ones that mean the most. For u did them because u wanted to,

not because u had to.

Cuteness

2009-07-13T15:57:00.006+06:00

The weather is beautiful today. All green and shady =) Here's Adyaan! My cousin. He just turned one. Walking is new to him. He walks like a total robot. Sometimes wobbles like jelly =P I should just eat him! He comes to my place every evening with my khala =D He is the cutest ever naughty angel.

Right now Adyaan's eating a biscuit and saying OooOGh. Hahaha. Hope it rains soon *does the rain dance*

I Feel This

2009-07-12T02:44:00.006+06:00

Someday, when I am all grown up, after I graduate, I wanna go on a world tour. And possibly meet my online friends. Just one of my earliest dreams. =)

I love my life. I will make it rock. I wish to make every one happy. And make their lives rock too. Every one I care about. But, it's hard. 'Coz some times people don't appreciate that.

But I know one thing. All my friends. Who are really my friends. Anyone who would ever give me a chance, would always get the best from me. People these days tend to be superficial. And it's rare to find some who are true. And with time I shall know. Coz it has been with time that I have always known. =)

I love my family. My mom and dad. And brothers and sister. And everyone else. Granparents and all of the huge never-ending family. Friends. Besties. Imaginary pals. =)

So, I'll have faith in God always. Be myself. And let the peices fall in place. G'nite. ^^

An utterly boring post. You have been warned.

2009-07-10T21:35:00.011+06:00

hi. today was usual. i have 8 days to semester exams. and sadly, am in the same sort of mess as was in the first. the unusual thing is i dont know for sure whether i am giving the exams in 8 days or a month. short attendance issue. wotever. why am i such an eleventh-hour person. cant stay for long that way in medical. have to become a study-daily kinda person. gah. ever came across over-achieving.. over-efficient.. demi-gods of knowlege types? dont like them. make me wanna throw up. give me freaky ideas. like to go on a serial-killing spree or something. lol, sorry that was a slight exaggeration. am no physchopath. no, just make me feel worth less. so small. but have to remember to not compare myself. bad for me. comparing never did good. especially when u compare without giving it ur best.

sometimes i wish i had photographic memory. then i'd know everythin. just keep flicking thru the pages and *click* *flash* - saved. mayb i'd pause to tell the pages to say cheese. but aint so. so, have to work harder.. like a person with non-photographic memory. besides. the thot freaks me. no. dont want to remember every page i ever read.

found out that flicking on the lights in the night contributes to certain cancers. namely, breast cancer and prostate cancer. coz light supresses melatonin production by the pineal gland. apparently, melatonin, a hormone, has, among many other functions, a role in anticarcinogenic activity. was upset coz of this. coz i stay up nights in light.. lots. coz am a semi-vampire, hard to sleep at night.. i rest in day time. so resolved to give my body more dark time. news like this one always bother me. the night-owl that i am.

okay. more from me later. xxx

ps- Mariane Keyes rocks yet again in This Charming Man (yes =D i have the original version! tee hee hee) I read a few pages, cudnt wait until afta the exams...

Michael Jackson ♥ For Ever

2009-07-08T19:29:00.009+06:00

I'm starting with the man in the mirror

I'm asking him to change his ways

And no message could have been any clearer

If you wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself and then make a change

Everyday I sit and ask myself

How did love slip away

Something whispers in my ear and says

That you are not alone

For I am here with you

Though you're far away

I am here to stay

***

There comes a time when we heed a certain call

When the world must come together as one

There are people dying

and its time to lend a hand to life

The greatest gift of all

***

When your down and troubled

And you need a helping hand

And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.

Close your eyes and think of me

And soon I will be there

To brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name,

And you know whereever I am

I'll come running, oh yeah baby

To see you again.

Winter, spring , summer, or fall..

***

Have you seen my Childhood?

I'm searching for the world that I come from

'Cause I've been looking around

In the lost and found of my heart...

No one understands me

They view it as such strange eccentricities...

'Cause I keep kidding around

Like a child, but pardon me...

People say I'm not okay

'Cause I love such elementary things...

It's been my fate to compensate,

for the Childhood

I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?

I'm searching for that wonder in my youth

Like pirates in adventurous dreams,

Of conquest and kings on the throne...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,

Look within your heart then ask,

Have you seen my Childhood?

♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

♥ When a Lifetime becomes an Inspiration and a Picture, your Motivation ♪

2009-07-04T02:28:00.023+06:00

As she walked along the dark corridor, her footsteps echoed in the Silence that stood around her like that invisible man who had always surrounded her. Whom she had always known. And from whom she had run away too, in her mind. She started running towards the end, the door that would be her escape. And then the black glass windows started to quiver as her footsteps grew louder and then they shattered with a deafening blast, killing the silence. And bright light poured in, setting her free. Yellow and golden streams of sun flowed in and the dark was no longer there. Now, there was a red apple on a polished wooden table, two electric blue sofas and, in between them, a pup. It was white with brown spots and she saw it breathing in its sleep. Innocence. She found herself smiling now and she whirled round and round in circles and her hair got lose around her too. Three sparrows flew in and tried moving the apple around with their little feet and beaks and then took off out again, chirping a morning song.

On the far side of the corridor, a door creaked open, stopping the girl. She wiped away her hair from her face and stared. And a small figure emerged, getting bigger as it strode towards her. It was that invisible man in her head, now out in front of her. Visible now. And she had no idea what was happening. This had better be a dream, because if it weren't, then, she would be crazy.

He took out a shiny, silver, metal stick from behind him and waved it in the air, with no effort. The walls collapsed around her and pulverized, disappearing into the blue liquid that had started forming at the horizon. And the sea spread all around her. The wooden table slowly sank, the apple floated. The sofas were no longer there and she leapt for the little pup, but was too late. And a tear formed in her eye. She stood on an island now, and the invisble man was sailing towards her in a boat. His black hair were as black as the black suit he wore, as black as the black eyes he had and as black as the night sky in winters.

The island was getting smaller as it turned into water and she knew she would drown soon. But she knew too that she might be saved if the boat made it in time. And as she looked at the boat, she saw his teeth sparkling in a smile and his eyes shut. That scared her.

So she jumped off the island and into the sea and swam in the opposite direction. But suddenly she started feeling very heavy. Like stones and boulders weighing her down. And the water felt like glue. She couldn't swim. And she turned and saw the boat. It was no longer in motion. The waves were still too. Paused. Fren had surprise all over his face. His eyes wide open with the black glittering in the sun. His mouth half open now and his breath stopped. And as Fren reached out with his hands for Anorah, she felt the air around her turn to glue too. And his hand stuck out in the air, the index finger and thumb stretched the most, the others merely curled. And strands of her hair, flying in the wind around her, that had transformed too, stuck there. Mid-motion. Anorah smiled a faint, red, amused smile. And his sparkling teeth sparkled at her. And that's when everything became still. Like a photograph taken. This was not a moment captured, but a lifetime. Inside, everything lived. But outside it was all very still. And it would remain this way.. maybe for ever. And nobody would know, except her and Fren and the little puppy up in the sky, above the rising orange sun, hanging by the beaks of the three sparrows who would always stay too. And hope to be someday set free....

I'll be back real soon!

2009-06-26T00:13:00.013+06:00

I am going on HIATUS. Wanna know why? Coz I give up my study time to come online and I end up staying online for longer than I intend to. Oh yeah. And now my exams are coming up and there's only 22 days before The Day. And I've come up with a terrifyingly simple time table.

Anyways. Going on Hiatus doesn't mean that I will be buried in books all days. It means I won't let the guilt of not updating my blog get to me. =D So no more expecting any real blog updates from me. For a short while only. You know I can't stay away from my bloggie for long ^^ Even tho' I will be using the internet (don't you take THAT away from me!) And there's always a teensy-weensy chance of me updating my blog. OKAY? I love my blog and it makes me happy ><

So wish me best of luck for my exams and leave me a comment. And DO give a listen to Insatiable by Darren Hayes ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I think that song should be in the last movie of the Twilight series - Breaking Dawn.

OoOoh lookie look at the kool alien freaking out on this hiatus banner >> below<< it reminds me of me when I find that the house has run out of shampoo... and that I will have to wait till the evening.. or when I find out that I don't have any internet hours left on the 20 wala netpass ka card and it's 11 in the night so I'll have to wait till the next day to get another card and go online. But that doesn't happen any more. Yup, I have a wireless connection now with unlimited hours! See, I used to have a life before. But then came Worldcall evdo...

Lol, so here's the kool alien >>

Without wax,

Keep on flashing your headlights if you are green ^^

Green, like the alien, lol. I love marshmallows...! xxx

Insatiable

2009-06-24T01:16:00.013+06:00

Insatiable by Darren Hayes. The second best song ever. (First is You Can Still be Free by Savage Garden... also Darren Hayes that is!) He rocks!

When moonlight crawls along the street
Chasing away the summer heat
Footsteps outside somewhere below
The world revolves I let it go
We build our church above this street
We practice love between these sheets
The candy sweetness scent of you
It bathes my skin I'm stained by you
And all I have to do is hold you
There's a racing in my heart
I am barely touching you

Turn the lights down low
Take it off
Let me show
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn me on
Never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable

The moonlight plays upon your skin
A kiss that lingers takes me in
I fall asleep inside of you
There are no words
There's only truth
Breathe in Breathe out
There is no sound
We move together up and down
We levitate our bodies soar
Our feet don't even touch the floor
And nobody knows you like I do
The world doesn't understand
But I grow stronger in your hands

We never sleep we're always holdin' hands
Kissin' for hours talkin' makin' plans
I feel like a better man
Just being in the same room
We never sleep there's just so much to do
Too much to say
Can't close my eyes when I'm with you
Insatiable the way I'm loving you

The Show

2009-06-13T20:20:00.006+06:00

“Hello and welcome to The Show (Well, that’s the name for lack of a better name). I’m the host, Mr. Varicose Veins. Today, we’re going to find out the right way to do things. Yes, things. From normal, everyday things like rolling your socks and tossing them into the washing machine to extraordinary feats like rolling someone else’s socks and tossing them into the washing machine. Things like watching the things you like on TV and things like having to watch things you don’t like on TV when you have to watch them because.. Well, nothing better is on and/or that’s what the other person insists on watching. And things like how to bear it when your in a super market and you have to hit and squeeze your trolley through wider beings in narrow aisles or when you have to do the same through a row of knees when you arrive late to the classroom and the only seats are on the far end of the other side.”

Woodie sat there watching another episode of The Show. Woodie was perhaps one of the fourteen people who watched this show in the entire country. Nobody watched it, because, first off it was one of those kinds that scream out “Pointlessness” even before you watch ’em and so you never do. And second, it came on at half past three in the night. Now regardless of it being pointless, or full of point *sighs* I bet it’d have a better viewing if it had more human times. Say, half past three in the afternoon? And the third reason was, well, it was maybe the main factor but no one said it out loud, Mr. Varicose Veins.

About him, well, obviously, his name was a huge turn off. He always managed to wear colored socks with cute little animals on them and most annoyingly his favorite color was pink. So the whole set of the show was splattered with it. Now that would have been wonderful for kids shows. But this guy was so un-guy-like and any guy who was straight would be embarrassed to the point of death or wetting himself watching this show. And as far as I know, no one had liking for either. Yes and not to forget the cheap sense of humor he had and the lame comedy that he so often did. Like eleven out of ten times. No, make that twelve. Because sometimes, you wouldn’t even KNOW he was doing it. It was SO lame.

Anyways, The Show ended and the credits rolled and Woodie turned off the television screen. Yes, and if you are wondering, he was gay. It was around five in the morning now. And then he had a long, long bath ’coz he kind of embarrassed himself in front of the tv. The sun rose, and breakfast was served. And he ate it all. His secretary strode in with a stack of papers and said things in a way that made you know that whatever she was saying was all very important. After going through a couple of papers and signing on the places his secretary pointed, he wore a freshly pressed black suit and combed his moustache. And then before you knew it, he was surrounded by two guards and his secretary, now holding a manilla folder, as he proceeded on to to a private plane to the capital city to give his presidential speech.

See, Presidents can be gay just like Joe Jonas and Adam Lambert. It’s not that impossible….

Given Another Chance - And Some Updates

2009-05-26T22:19:00.022+06:00

This is one of my poems. I wrote this one three years ago. Long time. I know. Anyways, I am posting it online today 'coz I was going thru some older posts and I saw Sidrah's comment on one of them.. ^^ lol, it was last year, and she'd asked me to post this "King-Boy Poem" (Here you go =P remember, I'd first shown you this poem at the end of first year =\ 2007 ...OH) Anyways, it's on my blog now. xxx

Given Another Chance

In a crimson suit and a purple tie he stood,
A single, white rose in his hand,
In his life before, some other time,
He felt he had ruled mountains, oceans and lands.
But today he stood here, feeling alone in a crowd,
A tear in his eye, a white rose in his hand,
How did it happen, when did it start...?...
He could not understand.
Tears streamed down his cheeks,
Everything was blurry,
He knew 'twaz going to be a long difficult journey.
He sat in the car, once again,
All over his body shaking,
It was too hard inserting the key.
And then he realized,
Then it dawned upon him,
The sins of the father had visited upon the son..
He cried and he wept,
For was today the day he would lose his only son...?...
Memories came flooding in, tears gushed through too,
felt the pain, he felt the shame, he remembered his father's sin...
Once he too was 14, a carefree, innocent boy,
That was back when, long ago, he had given his dad a box of tin.
It was his daddy's birthday,
He had to make it the most special,
He bought a box from a nearby shop,
And filled it with shells, candies and a lil letter.
He went to his father, smiling and proud,
Assured his father would definitely pat him, adore it,
But his father was busy in office paperwork,
Tony called and called, again, once again..But his father plainly ignored him.
Confused, he stood there, then called out again,
Still hopeful, Tony gently shook him,
His father stood up, fuming, enraged,
So insensitively he scolded and slapped him.
"Can't you see I'm busy? Too, too busy! Go away now!", he shouted at him.
Tears welled up, hot, in little Tony's eyes,
He dropped the tin box and ran away from him.
Far away, far from home,
Where his father could and would never find him!
Today Tony had done the same to his son,
And Graham had run away.
Tony tried to find him, searching all night long,
Ready to even search all day.
At last he found him, all alone,
On a bench at a deserted station,
Graham, he looked, was also weeping,
Quietly, he sat beside his son.
"Graham, Im sorry. Please forgive me.."This is all Tony could say...
A silent moment, a cool winter breeze,A warmth forever to stay.
And Graham whispered, "It's okay dad....okay 'coz you realized it."
Tony hugged his son, took him back home,
Aware that he had almost lost him.
Tony had been given another chance,
From the boy who had given him a white rose..
From the caring boy he had so carelessly slapped,
the boy for whom he he'd wept.
Tony felt like he had life again,
And it was Graham, his son,
Tony decided he was going to be a better dad,
A very loving one.

23rd May 2006, Tuesday.

I was in one of my states when I wrote this. Emotional. And I have alot of states.

And the Art teacher today sed that figurative drawings, portraits etc.. you know any thing that has life in it is not allowed to be drawn according to our religion. I knew this pehle se, par she sed it out loud and scared me... and sed that if I draw 'em, I won't be allowed to enter into heaven... ='( I had pencil-sketched Edward Cullen... I like making people... Non-living things are not that much fun!... but now oh.. *sighs*
And the fat B-girl was all over me. Let's do something to them Ayesha Tatum.

College. GARMI. That's all! And I can't wait for tomorrow lol. Nice going Tiger..! And Bromine is in demand. It's gonna be fun. Poor reader of Agatha Christie. He's gonna be so mad. Myosin is *toot toot* and Hb is full of wise talks and aunties wali juicy gossip.

And I love the song Whiskey Lullaby. And Sidrah, I read the letter you gave me today. Yeah, it was in my bag and I had totally forgotten =( and aaj dekha! You've written, in the letter, that you are gonna give me With Your Crooked Heart... I don't think you did. Lol, it was fun at ure place esp. solving the Xen-Bank mystery (Yay, We're SSS again!) Too good you don't live in Alaska =D

Oh well. That's about it. Later. Gotta do some ECG and sleep and then wake up early. Gaah!

xxx SaNz! \m/
Without Wax xxx

Studying - Coz I am a Good Girl

2009-05-24T23:53:00.011+06:00

HeYa..!!! Wotsup? =P I wanna update my blog but I can't think of something I wanna write about right now. So after 7 minutes of thinking hard, without any furrowing of my eyebrows like you do when you are concentrating too much on something, I know what I want to write about =D So..... this post is gonna about how I end up not studying. Here's what happens :

1) 9 out of 10 times I sit down with my books to study, I fall asleep on them instead.

2) 9 out of 10 times I come online to search something (related to anatomy or biochemistry) or the other (maybe about that topic in physio that's confusing me), I end up wacthing endless vLOGs on youtube or doing mindless quizes on facebook or surfing through photobucket.

3) 8 out of ten times I make up my mind to seriously listen to the teacher in a given anatomy class, in no more than thirty revolutions of the second hand I'm searching for my current favourite (these days : Collide by Howie Day) through the playlist in my cellphone with the earphones plugged in.

4) 10 out of 10 times I decide to wake up early to study, I don't. No matter how many times that alarm tries to wake me up, I'll sleep. And, like always, wake up late. And then sleep late, and then wake up later and then..... yeah, it's a vicious cycle.

5) 11 out of 10 times I decide to take a teensy-weensy break from an hour of studying, the break stretches on and on until it's time to sleep. So, my breaks are way elastic. Way more than your average rubber band.

Okay, I'm tired now. These are just a few of the bad, bad things that happen. I could write on and on and I could make a blog entirely of these. Par, that'd be kinda boring. Anyways... Just FYI I do study now. I am not planning on screwing up this semester (which means I kinda actually planned to screw up my first just to know how it feels) I am a good girl =P This was actually a break from studies which lasted a bit longer than it was supposed to. I'm gonna go back to the books now. Toodles lol xxx

Oh honey, boo freakin' hoo! ^^

2009-05-21T03:00:00.001+06:00

If my life were to become a road right now, I can tell it would be very snakey. Twisting and turning and twisting again before it even became straight from the last time. And I would be driving, yes I know how to - I do it a lot in my dreams, and I do it good, I always manage to get away from the cops chasing me and from those awful, scary robbers in the dark of the night... and when the bridge is broken I can get from one side to the other too, with full speed, making a huge jump over the water, the roaring fire... - so, I would be driving a compact but a strong and shiny pink =D car. The stereo would be on with my favourite songs and I would be singing along. And the windows would be rolled down and the hot hair blowing, messing up my neatly combed and clipped hair into what would look like an abandoned nest.

I bet there would be dried up leaves on the back seat blown in from the autumn air outside. And I bet I'd be driving to the sea.

And the sea would be all shimmering blue and the waves crashing a song. And then I'd drive my car into the water. I'd keep driving and driving, looking at all the strikingly colored fishes and plants. Looking out for the Mermaids.. for the one who's playing the beautiful song of the Sea at his crystal-keyed piano.. the one who's singing the beautiful song of the sea in her crystal-clear voice.. and the kingdom of Pearls =( and I dunno what I'd do next <3

I finally find.. you and I.. Collide =)

And Sidrah, do you know where's my magical necklace? And Phill Zephron?

It's late in the night now. I have college tomorrow. I will wake up and get ready on time and go! Anatomy won't be left undone this time. Head and neck are I.M.P.O.R.T.A.N.T. I wanted to be a neurologist, once, when I had no idea how hard it would be to become one. But that's how things go, that's how dreams happen. You're naive, so you dream... you never would if you already knew. And when you know, you often give up on ure dreams. I won't... I won't rule em out, I won't cross em in red X's my head. I won't let setbacks, no matter how big or small, get to me. =) I'll never give up on ANY of my dreams. They would come true, I hope, someday. I might change plans, but I will never give up on my dreams. About my life, I know what I want. About how a lot of things will turn out..... I dunno, and that's the best part.

I have art class tomorrow again. And I love it. I love art to bits. It my time to let go of everything and just get immersed into who I am and let it all come out on paper, in colors, or strokes of black. And then have fun too with other people, watching them at it too. Talk to Ayesha about random things. About how to get at the annoying B-girls. Or nothing at all. Doesn't matter. No worries. And the teacher is nice too.

I have tons of novels to read. And I love doin' that. Transported to places, being the one I'm reading about, watching the trains pass by or camping out in the night with a crazy bestfriend to catch the Chudleigh Cad(who has a knicker fetish) red-handed, more like pink handed! Lol. Or fall in love with a vampire, but hey I already love vampires. And it was BT and BC, before Twilight and before Cullen. Before I was a vampiress . And after I found out vampires., after morning person and after that came Fren, the first one.

I have movies yet to watch. And I will.

I want to go to dreamworld again. Soon.

I have to do.. So.Many.Things.

And I want a lot of AWESOME pictures and songs =D

Jake has yet to be revealed. Rio and Rindy and Darren and Gem are still there. Hannah Louise has eaten one to many slices of pizza. Then we have Camper in Malta. And poor Jard and Laydown. And Mark and Steve.. and every1 else. Flyder Blue is smiling tho'... and I'm tangled up in you. And I still dunno. And maybe that's the best part.

Everything's a bit weird and funny, sad and happy.

2009-05-08T17:44:00.003+06:00

Everything's a bit weird and funny, sad and happy.

Like the stars when they twinkle. I think I have a thing for stars. They are just there always twinkling. Even tho' not right now, really. Several light years ago... when I wasn't even born.

Nights are good because I can stand in my window and look at them moving from one end of my sky to the other. I can see them twinkling and coming out from behind the clouds. I could count them and and make them my dot-to-dot pictures as much as I want. Wishing on the brightest one and giving them names. Weird, fun, sad, happy. Stars are all that and much more.

Looking at the sky some night,

A star appeared up on my right.

The clouds, they slowly floated by,

The star, it twinkled like it could sigh.

Like it could smile and dance and sing,

It shone high up like a diamond ring..

The Story Of Rindy : 4

2009-05-05T02:35:00.006+06:00

The moon, hidden by smokey clouds, was up high. It barely touched the peak of the mountain at the base of which stood a little brown cottage. The cottage had been there for several years and for all those years it had never had any human inhabitants. Squirrels and mice scurried in sometimes and several pigeon families had their nests on it's roof. No one ever came there, and apparently no one, except Rio, knew it that it even existed.

Rio, the red being, had built it a decade ago and it was in this very cottage that he had safely stored the purple potion. And there it had remained until this week when Rindy had poured it all down the well. Rio had no idea how she had gotten her hands on it. He was sure Rindy would have never known this place. He had never told her. All he knew was she'd gotten rid of it, that's what he saw her doing.

Tonight Rio flew here again. He knew Rindy had followed him, tried to atleast. She had come to the Batcave Cavern. She had called his name out loud. She had been demanding about something. And he had come out, stood near her, looked into in the storm in her deep blue eyes. He had smiled in return to her frowning angry face. And just before any thing else could happen, before she could start at him, maybe shout or throw questions at him, he had turned into a vampire bat and flapped his black wings away. Out of the cave. Leaving Rindy where she stood, her mouth open, her eyes wide. And then she had started running after him, calling out his name again and again. But he flew faster and faster. Not now, he thought to himself. Not now.

And back home Gem sat on the edge of Darren's bed, watching his chest rise and fall. A low whistle with every fall of his chest made Darren sound like a train to Gem. So here she was. Snooping? Not really. Just sitting there watching Darren. Waiting for Rindy to be back.

Must. Start. Studying. Today.

2009-05-03T15:36:00.006+06:00

Zulu Language : Seussi Gnitsurt

2009-04-26T20:34:00.007+06:00

~ Daetsni htiaf evah, epoh esol tno'd .Won thgir .Traeh ym revo lla nettirw Aionarap evah I. ~

Hannah Louise (continued) 2

2009-04-23T18:53:00.004+06:00

The meeting went on forever. Three hours. Then the glass door opened and out stepped Hannah Loiuse. Alive. She got out her cellphone from her little black purse and dialled a local pizza restaurant for home delivery. After five minutes of waiting she got through to the person who was supposed to take her order. She ordered two large cheese pizzas and a salad and gave her home address. The guy on the other end said it'd be 45 minutes. Enough time for me to be home, she thought.

At home, she took a quick shower in ice cold water. It felt good on her hot skin. Her black,wavy hair hung loose and wet on her shoulder as she stepped out of the bath. She turned her head a bit and a sniffed her hair, strawberry. She got into her fave home clothes, a white sailor shirt and pink baggy pyjamas. And then messaged Beth and Jill, her twin friends, to come over.

The door bell rang once and in came Beth, all jumpy and crash landed on the sofa. Three steps behind her came the pizza man running, as if for his life, all drenched in sweat 'coz after all it was roasting outside. She took in the pizzas, Beth had already turned the TV on and then she paid the bill and tipped the guy, and he couldn't stop himself from smiling a smile that showed each and every tooth in his mouth and she could sense his strong minty breath.

Back inside, Beth told her that Jill couldn't make it because she was in one of her moods. These ranged from trying to take over the world to taping their neighbour's cat making out with their kitty. This time, Beth was guessing, Jill had sneaked into the college office and mailed herself the whole list of teaching faculty which included their home addresses, email id's, contact numbers and other private information. She was thinking of evil ways to make use of this information.

...More soon!! ^^

Hannah Louise

2009-04-16T22:08:00.005+06:00

It was a sunny April afternoon and fat pigeons stood like kings, outspreading their grey wings, on the concrete ground, rubbing their feet as they cooed. A girl, quite young but quite old at the same time, quickly walked her way across, oblivious to her surroundings. She entered the brown, bricky building and as she did, a gush of air conditioned air blew on her face cooling off little drops of perspiration that had formed on her nose.

Her name was Louise, short and pretty just like her. Well, she wasn't all that short, in fact taller than a lot of her friends who were of a medium height. But compared to her family of tall giants, she was a teeny-weeny dwarf. She pushed open another glass door, remembering too late that she should have knocked first.

The man sitting behind the table looked up from the newpaper he must have been reading, sort of startled, but quickly regained his composure. "Come in," he said in his dry, husky voice..even though Louise was already in. He pointed towards the chair across him and she sat down knowing only too well that there was no knowning what would happen next...

3rd September 2008, Wednesday.

Royal Confusion =D

2009-04-16T15:57:00.008+06:00

I am confused =S and dissapointed ={ I am excited ^^ and happy =D

Happens to me a lot. And I hate it when I am bursting with things to say.. and my mum doesn't even listen to me, and tells me I am talking weird... that it doesn't even make sense.

So one of those days. Confused and dissapointed 'coz I might just be so weird. But excited and happy 'coz... who cares? So I am, I can't change that... and I won't. Anyways, another thing that is on my mind. Last night I had a very pleasant dream (and I am not writing it here now, I might sometime 'tho... let's just say it makes me think of these words : royal, majestic, silver, glitter, queen, splendid, dancing, air, light, Obama.. omg! lol =P I don't know from where he came in....) and it, the dream, made me feel so good. More than bringing new feelings to me, it made me dig out old one's that were there under a huge heap of everday clutter in my heart and head. =D And maybe I am smiling too much 'coz right now I can feel a my heart alight.

Grey spot. No. Grey Blob. Noooo!!!

Red, red, red!!!!

I do not exactly know how, but I will. I don't know when, but I know in this lifetime and more sooner than later. I don't know what, but it. Me. Nobody needs to know-ow...

I know this was confusing. And weird. But to me it makes all the sense I can imagine. =D

And oh, changing tracks, today is the 16th of April... Why am I suddenly saying this? o.O 'coz I felt something writing this date on top of the margin in my notebook. I love writing dates!

And I have also started reading Twilight. I love vampires. I have always written vampire stories and it's sad that now if anyone reads any of them, they think they've been inspired from Stephanie Meyer's saga... well No. I always have been a vampireSs to me... =D Rindyyyy! But yeah Twilight is good (only 'coz I love vampires already) and someday I might put up my older stories, when I'd be a bit grown-up and I wouldn't feel bad when people think I got my idea from Steph... no I did not! =P

So Much For Gettin Up Early

2009-04-15T10:21:00.014+06:00

I am trying to make my life more fuctional (on the days I do not go to college) =P Yeah, another one of my "plans." Lol. So that means it is gonna be more sunshiney (waking up early), more productive (not being a lazy girl, a huge part of this is studying), more time doing things I like (alot of things here) and totally no stressing out or feeling helpless ={ and the most important part of being in control is sleeping early. 10pm early. So the next day is sunshiney as well!!

Ohhh =P what with early to bed and early to rise lol and early bird blah blah =P this is MY plan! Not some egg laying bird's who caught all the worms. I don't even like worms......

Lol. So far it is day 1. I slept early yesterday. And woke up half past 8. =D But, as it is always, something has to screw. By the time I was all ready for breakfast it was supposed to be early morning 9. But as it was me expecting, it was 10 am! I was soo soo confused. And it transpired that *everyone* had taken down their clocks and reset them an hour ahead in the name of Daylight Saving (and all this while I was asleep, not bothering to tell me...) (//_^) but I know it's just an eeeeeevvvilllll conspiracy to keep me from making my life *functional* I can just imagine everyone rubbing their hands evily and smiling slyly and stroking their chins, looking so smug and proud of their ingenious plan... whispering "great!" and "that ought to crush her spirits!", while giving huge thumbs-ups and wide smiles.... (LMAO) Oh well =D I am not giving up. Take that you smirking conspiracy makers, you can't trick me that easily. Go cry in your rooms and think of something better, I am gonna get back to my plan now. Later!

Laydown : The Clown's Gravestone

2009-04-12T21:15:00.005+05:00

Laydown, he's a dead clown. He's been buried. He made the gravestone himself during the last of his dying days. It was stained with his tears. And it said :

"Living Life,

Living Lies,

Living a Life of Sheltered Lies,

Tryin to reach out,

Breakin free,

To touch the skies,

With something good...

Not all the lies."

Bloating and Starving

2009-04-05T17:23:00.008+05:00

"I wouldn't mind if Steven actually swallowed every last piece of chicken off my plate," thought Mark, "In fact, it would be very relieving if he would." Steven sat across him, his eyes fixed on Mark's plate, while Mark very slowly chewed the chicken to a soup. Steven was hungry, he hadn't had anything to eat for days. And for every breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner, he had to watch Mark do the thing he was dying to do. Eat.

Mark, too, like Steven, had it hard. He did not like doing this to Steven. Chicken nuggets, hot chinese rice, crispiest french fries, cakes dripping with chocolate, milk shakes thick and sweet with strawberry and vanilla, cheese and scrambled eggs and what not. But he had to do it.

Every day.

Every night.

Mark and Steven were the only two characters in this game, "Bloating and Starving." The game was created by some Cornman Cornfield and could be played on computers, playstations as well as on x-boxes worldwide. Making it hard for all the Marks and Stevens. And for those who played too. It was addictive beyond control.

The first player (who controlled Mark) had to make sure Mark did not skip meals. And had to make sure Mark ate every thing that was available in the shops. Mark could buy it all from the points he made from eating, making Steven drool etc.

On the other hand, the second player (who controlled Steven) had to stop Steven from eating. He would tie his hands, or tape his mouth, or glue him to a chair just close enough to see what delicacies Mark was enjoying. It was pure torture. And the points Steven made from resisting his urge to attack on the plate in front of Mark could be used by the second player to get more gadgets and devices he could torment Steven with.

The purpose of this game? Have fun while doing disturbing things. Make points while being pointless.

Let me know if you ever come across this game. Or anything similar. Probably there must be something already like it. I don''t know. I just made this up. I might turn this into a game some day.

xxx SaNz

Eyes Twinkling with Laughter

2009-04-03T13:30:00.007+05:00

Eyes Twinkling With Laughter

-a poem by me-

I might do something

If only I care

Maybe I keep reaching out for

What's never there

Only when I realize

I guess it's too late

But still I keep believing

And hopefully wait

Wait for that moment

'Coz I know it's gonna be there

A sky that is star-less

Won't be always like that

In a world full of people

In my heart brimming with dreams

In a rainbow of colors

I am being just me

What feels like it's alright

What feels like it's wrong

I am feeling everything

And I keep going on

I care to be goood

But it often goes bad

I care to be happy

But I often get sad

This life is all that's mine

This girl is all who is me

As raindrops pitter- patter

Through them I can see

On a white horse that is galloping

Through the wind, shaking away the trees

Is someone who is laughing

Tho' holding tight with her knees

xxx SaNz =}

A Bloody Murder - Or Something as Bloody I Might Just Do

2009-04-02T16:38:00.011+05:00

Okay, this is just plain annoying. Here I am, sitting on my bed, writing a story. Not just anywhere, but how silly of me, on a random piece of paper... in fact, on one I had taken out of my notebook. The lights are out and its awfully hot. Even tho' I'd just taken a bath, I felt like I was being roasted in my own room. I swear I am going to do something mad to the KESC people someday. Like take out their eyeballs and feed it to the chickens or better yet take out chicken eyeballs and feed only those to them, with yucky candle wax, 'coz I've imprisoned them. Really. There is a limit to load-shedding!

And there is also a limit to how much annoying a day can get. As if I am not already feeling like a two thousand tonne (very very very super huge and heavy) elephant trying to get out of a room but the door is too small, the lights come on back. Yeah, thats supposed to be a good thing. But nooooo, I get up to turn on the AC and what happens next? Just For Once I left the paper lying on my bed without something like a paper weight holding it down! And the next thing I know, it's flown out of the window! Now you might be wondering why do I keep my windows open. Do I keep 'em open all the time? Are my things always flying out? No! They're only open when the lights go out! And so...

The story (whatever I wrote, just a meant-to-be-scary start - A guy murdered, lying in the bathroom of the college he goes to.. with blood all around him and.. yada yada.. a woman who discovered him, screaming and fainting... more yada yada) has probably flown to some pigeon's nest or maybe into someone's face who snatched it and crumpled it and threw it away. I hope it magically folds into a paper plane and flies right into the eyeball of the KESC bigshot who ALWAYS makes *our* lights go out and not his own!

That's about it for now. Later!

xxx SaNz

ALPoMI

Rarer than diamonds, Purer than gold xxx

2009-04-01T16:23:00.016+05:00

Today, it seems that time has almost stopped. Every hour passes by so slowly. The clock is a bit lazier and believe me it is not the battery that's responsible. I have three songs by David Cook on my playlist with the loop on. The day has come to a still =)

Everything feels so peaceful however. It's like when you know for sure the sun's going to rise again. The birds are going to chirp happily ^^

I am listening to **This is the Time of My Life** And it's so wonderfully hopeful. So I am gonna paste some of the lyrics in this post here <3

I’ve been waiting for my dreams
To turn into something
I could believe in
And looking for that
Magic rainbow
On the horizon
I couldn’t see it
Until I let go
Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn
Now I’m coming alive
Body and soul
And feelin’ my world start to turn

And I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time
To be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life
Holding onto things that vanished
Into the air
Left me in pieces
But now I’m rising from the ashes
Finding my wings
And all that I needed
Was there all along
Within my reach
As close as the beat of my heart
And I’m out on the edge of forever
Ready to run
I’m keeping my feet on the ground
Arms open wide
Face to the sun

This is the time of my life.
This is the time of my life.

About studies : Hopefully, I'll be done making histology notes today. And tomorrow I am going to read 'em a couple of times. Then I am going to take anatomy and physiology side by side. I feel I can do it ^^

About life : Hopeful. What I have is rarer than diamonds and purer than gold =)

About what I am upto : Reading Allison Pearson's "I Don't Know How She Does It." The book is full of drama and it's got alot of funny bits too. I think I am in love with it. Its all about life and it's hilarious and bitter and sweet all at the same time.

About college : There weren't alot of people in college today. Or maybe I feel that way 'coz my friends didn't come today =P Lazy people! The only reason I went today, biochem practical lab, didn't happen. Instead we got a tutorial. Oh well, I drew and listened to songs on my cell an entire hour thru ^^ And in the first lecture (physiology), a really nice sir came. He was so much more like a teacher. Atleast he cared about what he was doin *even tho' I didn't much concentrate on everything he taught coz it was mostly numbers and equations... but I did feel like listening* He was so much better than all the crap we get mostly =P I dunno. Also I went to PWA office today and did some artsy-craftsy stuff =D Mostly made cute litte fancy bangles. I have another nice idea, I am going to talk about it with some PWA senior =)

What I Drew In Biochem Tuto =P

About right now : My left eye hurts =P Just played the song on youtube. Gonna check out Second Life as soon as I hit Publish Post!

>>Peace out!<<

xxx SaNz

New Layout

2009-03-31T21:17:00.001+05:00

Got rid of the brown one. Love this one. ^^

<3 SaNz xxx

Shining star, shine bright

2009-03-31T19:00:00.009+05:00

Hey there. I've been wanting to update my blog for so long now. Really I am one heck of a lazy person. In this post I'm gonna do a few updates, throw in some other random stuff, basically rant.

First of all I am very bored of this layout. It is so brown. And I don't like brown much. Except when it's chocolates or eye shadow or brownies.

Secondly I'm trying to get myself to update my blog more often. But here's the thing..

I update today. I feel good and I update tomorrow. But if I don't... I don't do it the next day either. I feel lazy and useless and I just don't want to come to my blog. It's kinda evil...I mean as each day passes by with me not posting, I feel more and more guilty about being so lazy and I try to run away from posting. Sad. I know.

So here's it. I am doing this post mainly to feel good tomorrow so I can do a good post tomorrow. And if anyone is still reading this.. that's great xD

Other than that a great news... but first *drum roll* *applause* I PASSED MY FIRST SEMESTER!! Yes! I am so happy I won't have to study those thing all over again! I am so glad I don't have to appear for the supplementary exams! YAY!

And as I promised myself before, this time I am being a good girl and studying things a lil bit everyday so that I won't have to be a cram artist a week before the exams. I am trying to be responsible and it's a good thing that even if I did screw up before, this time I am learning from my mistakes and hopefully I won't be repeating them.

College is a happier place now. At least I don't feel suicidal every other day. I've even stopped crying every other afternoon after getting home from college. Either the things are getting better or I am adjusting..maybe both. But still not the best. Not everything that I wanted. I've learnt not to think too much about the things I cannot change. I'm consciously trying to block out negative thoughts and think postive, good ones instead. And hey, it's even working.

Another thing. I watched The Bee Movie today. It was AWESOME! I loved the songs *heart* Here are the parts of the movie that literally made me LOL as in Laugh Out Loud!!

When all the bees were lying around, being lazy and suddenly Barry was on TV. And the newscaster was saying that now he's trying to land a plane. Something like that.

And the part where Vanessa's husband/boyfriend left and came back again and said something to Barry =P that made me laugh

And in the end when her husband/boyfriend was walking and he looked at Vanessa's flower shop and it's name was now Vanessa and Barry and he was some thing like.. "The bee is living MY LIFE!" I don't exactly remember what he said but it was sooooo funny!

And, and... oh a couple of more scenes that had me giggling =P but don't feel like typing. The movie was, again, AWESOME! Next on my list is Confessions of a Shopaholic.

I think that's enough for now.

Star light, Star bright

First star I see tonight

I wish I may, I wish I might

I have the wish
I wish tonight

xxx SaNz

Jake : Unrevealed, yet...

2009-03-02T16:24:00.007+05:00

This is a story I wrote...
I know why my stories are almost always so sad...
Particularly this one. Coz I wrote it when I was sad. I won't go on sayin why I was sad... lets just say its a sort of depression every time a particular realization hits upon me...and it hits hard...
Here's the story.

Jake : Unrevealed, yet...

Jake sat crosslegged on the stairs outside the Common Room. Early morning, the larks circled around the bright, shyly smiling sun in the blue skies above him. He fingered his silver charm chain and sighed heavily.

******

“Class, I hope you all have the assignments today. I’ll be collecting them now…”, bellowed the 50-something Physiology teacher, Miss Noil. She was a chubby ball and had black button eyes buried deep within the folds of her pale skin, partly hidden by the spaghetti strands of her light brown hair. For some reason Jake called her Fat Droplet in his head. Jake bent over and fished his assignment, half completed, out of his black, leathery side bag. No sooner had he sat back up again, Miss Noil was there. Towering over him. She was tall and fat. She quickly snatched away the pages, held together by a single gem clip, from Jake and moved on to the desk behind. Almost like a swan. Too much graceful for a fat droplet.

******

And here, once again, was Jake, on the stairs. Sipping apple juice, taking in the world around him. This time though it was much nosier. There were random groups of guys and girls scurrying in or parading out. The girls mostly talking in whispers, laughing and giggling. The guys talking loud, guffawing and hitting here and there as if that was what they were given hands for. All them so oblivious of him. And Jake kind of even liked it this way.

At a distance was the 3Gang. A gang of two guys and one girl. He could hear their incomprehensible voices and see them so at their wild gestures, overly animated face expressions and the oh-so-gay moves and sounds. Gay for the guys at least. The tallest one was Mitch and he apparently believed his hand was some aircraft and was flying it all over the air surrounding him. The girl, Bianca, was on the tall side too and was she dancing.. or showing off her karate moves? And all kinds of sounds were coming out of her. Singing or karate sounds? One thing about her that struck him, she was dressed all black but had a rainbow tattooed on the side of her neck. She was kind of pretty except that she probably did not realized it herself. Or realized it too much. The shortest of the trio was a guy whose name Jake did not know. He was cute in a pinchable sort of way and wore glasses. He had his tongue hanging out of his mouth. And looked like he was really concentrating hard on what the other two were doing. Weirdoes!

But who was he to say that. Oh, for all Jake knew he was so much weirder than them. He was weirder than the weirdest of Earth put together. The weirdest witches, wizards, vampires and elves and every other creature put together.

Jake was a something he couldn't reveal. Reveal yet more like it. What he was, was a real weird creature to be. You couldn’t tell he was anything other than human. Normal human. He acted just like one… because a long time back he was. Atleast he really believed so.

So he was weird. Very, very. But he got consolation from the fact that he just might not be alone. Sort of. Even though right now he felt so. A fleeting glance at the chain, a long deep sigh….

xxx SaNz <3

A Random Story I Came Across Online

2009-03-01T22:49:00.004+05:00

Okay this is a random story i stumbled across today. Hav fun ^^

COUNTRY GENIE

a young couple was golfing one day on a very exclusive course lined with million-dollar houses. on the third tee, the wife sliced her shot right through the large front window of the biggest house along the course. they walked up, knocked on the door and heard a voice say, "come on in." when they opened the door, they saw glass everywhere and a broken bottle lying on the floor. a man on the couch said, "are you the people who broke my window?" the husband began to apologize, but the man cut him off, "actually, i want to thank you, i'm a genie who was trapped in that bottle, and your wayward shot released me. i'm allowed to grant three wishes, so what i'd like to do is give each of you one wish, and i'll keep last one for myself." "fantastic!" said the husband. "i want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "no problem," said the genie, "it's the least i can do." "i want a house in every country in the world," said the wife. "consider it done," said the genie, "and now for my wish. because i've been trapped in that bottle, i haven't had sex in a really long time. my wish is to sleep with your wife." the husband looked over at his wife and said, "well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses...if you don't mind honey, i don't either." the wife agreed. the genie took her upstairs and ravished her for 3 hours. after he was through, the genie looked at the wife and asked, "how old is you husband, anyway?" "twenty-five," said the wife. "and he still believes in genies?"

******

Hmm anyways as about my life these days. First semester exams are over. Hopefully I'll pass. But I still av OSPEs for this semester. =D Gonna study tonyt.

Im finished with Memoirs of a Geisha. It was a good book. Sad. Happy. Out of this world. My world. Sidrah take it from me. Oh and I love February Air too. Lights is kewl. But ur kewler =D

Im gonna read Twilight soon. Yes, da very first of the series. I av seen da movie tho'. I know Im gonna love it coz Ive been super crazy about vampires all my life. Bunni yay ure gonna read it too.

And talking of vampires and twilight... Tahrim.. =P Hope you find ure Edward soon. Im disappointed you dint like da one I chose for u =P (da one who kept cumin n fallin and goin lol) or for dat matter the one MJ chose for you.. ^^

xxx SaNz <3